Saturday, November 4, 2006

The Analysis Of a Down

Ok in my roll of achievements and firsts (sarcasm intended) another has been added. I have managed to get a prac down this semester.

The ignomity of the honour goes to hardware laboratory practical where today my program failed to run. It was a simple program but it blew up in my face. Tried and tried but the output never came.

Should have changed but the fact remains I thought I could do it. Guess I was wrong.

The tragedy is not that I have a down but the fact that a down seem to signify the steady degradation in me. Its not a blip but an event which just strengthens my fall into the abyss.

I can feel it and I have to arrest it coz this is not what I want.

The fall is best signified with what my teacher(also the internal examiner and one my favorite and most respected teachers(all are one person)) told me when I left the lab after the program failed to run despite the end of alloted time. Oza mam said and I shall never forget the words"Ashraf I feel like crying". This was my impression going down the drain. More than the down' it's Oza's mam words that trouble me pricking my conscience at every step. I hope it lasts fro a long time coz then I have hope.

Anyway guess its a sem wait to clear the prac. "My Bad"

Sunday, October 29, 2006

The Mullah and the Lady

Another day, another controversy in the name of Islam. And who shout out the most- people who are least affected. I am getting tired. Every couple of days a new media crowned messiah of Islam makes some new comment about Islam and again the whole bull in a China shop circus starts. Whether it be fatwas or triple talaq or women rights, in the media frenzy the actual debate gets lost. It seems there is no middle position. Its either with us or against us.

Sheikh Taj el-Din al-Hilali an Egypt born Australian cleric has blamed women for rapes and believes dress plays an important part in the whole act.
In his sermon the sheikh said...(no spin the actual translation
)

Who commits the crimes of theft? The man or the woman? The man.

That's why the man was mentioned before the woman when it comes to theft because his responsibility is providing.

But when it comes to adultery, it's 90% the women's responsibility. Why? Because a woman possesses the weapon of seduction.

It is she who takes off her clothes, shortens them, flirts, puts on make-up and powder and takes to the streets, God protect us, dallying. It's she who shortens, raises and lowers.

Then it's a look, then a smile, then a conversation, a greeting, then a conversation, then a date, then a meeting, then a crime, then Long Bay jail. [laughs].

Then you get a judge, who has no mercy, and he gives you 65 years.

But when it comes to this disaster, who started it? In his literature, scholar al-Rafihi says: 'If I came across a rape crime - kidnap and violation of honour - I would discipline the man and order that the woman be arrested and jailed for life.'

Why would you do this, Rafihi? He says because if she had not left the meat uncovered, the cat wouldn't have snatched it.

If you take a kilo of meat, and you don't put it in the fridge or in the pot or in the kitchen but you leave it on a plate in the backyard, and then you have a fight with the neighbour because his cats eat the meat, you're crazy. Isn't this true?

If you take uncovered meat and put it on the street, on the pavement, in a garden, in a park or in the backyard, without a cover and the cats eat it, is it the fault of the cat or the uncovered meat? The uncovered meat is the problem.

If the meat was covered, the cats wouldn't roam around it. If the meat is inside the fridge, they won't get it.

If the meat was in the fridge and it [the cat] smelled it, it can bang its head as much as it wants, but it's no use.

If the woman is in her boudoir, in her house and if she's wearing the veil and if she shows modesty, disasters don't happen.

That's why he said she owns the weapon of seduction.

Satan sees women as half his soldiers: "You're my messenger to achieve my needs."

Satan tells women: "You're my weapon to bring down any stubborn man. There are men that I fail with. But you're the best of my weapons."

The woman was behind Satan playing a role when she disobeyed God and went out all dolled up and unveiled and made of herself palatable food that rakes and perverts would race for. She was the reason behind this sin taking place.


There have been calls for his resignation while the Mufti has his supporters behind him but as a muslim I have only one thing to say to him. Sir you are wrong big time. Your speech just shows your mentality and your biases.

Comparing women to meat makes them nothing more than an object of desire and by saying that they ought to be in their homes means you believe that the man shall provide while the ladies shall stay at home. There is a reason why Islam is so much in controversy. Seeing the world change around us with women getting liberated, paranoid old men such as the Mufti have become the voices calling for a rigid enforcement of Islam. And the world simply does not hear the voices of sanity in between.

But let the world not worry. This line of thought is not limited to the Muslim world only. The Mufti has a unique supporter in the radical hindu party Shive Sena which has again and again said a similar thing. Its strange how the radicals have literally no religion.

But moving on let me state the truth. Today is not seventh century Arabia. Islam was and people forget this many times the most progressive religion of its time. Women got respect and property rights. It took 1300 years and the supreme court ruling to give Hindu women similar property rights. So the problem is not with Islam but with the self crowned guardians.

Yes today is not seventh century Arabia. And the fact is to blame wome women for rape is as henious as the act itself. Coz it would not be rape if the women is to blame it would then be sex by mutual consent.

If we are civlized then the women in question should feel safe to walk down any street as she pleases and not feel insecure. As a civilized society we succeed only when we give her that sense of security. Saudi Arabia and other Islamic societies where women are ruthlessly suppressed and not allowed to even go to the market alone are an abhorrence and should be condoned.

And the mufti turns a blind eye to two facts. One most rapists are relatives of the victim who hope that the victim will be too scared to report. And secondly that most of the women who get raped they are very decently dressed. They are preyed upon because they are weak and percieved to be helpless. Its the men's mentality that must change not the women's.

But dont get me wrong. I dont believe the call for change can come from outside. It has to come from inside Islam from the believers themselves. George Bush in his call to change just kills the voice for change. The voices have to be from inside Islam. Like this one and a hundred others that are slowly calling out.

Rape is a crime and Islam has only one penalty for it - death. Nothing less. There can be no justification of so henious a crime. Not in a civilized society.


By the way if u find this interesting also read my earlier blog in support of Project Blank Noise, an anti eve-teasing movement. Click to go there

Saturday, October 14, 2006

"Fly Away " the poem

FLY
AWAY

I had tried to be the norm,
But I had failed.
I have tried to be the exception
But I am not doing very well
For I am treapped in an image
An image of my own making
And now I am trying to fly free
I made that image
For I thought that was what i wanted
But I was off the mark
And I think I realized what I truly wanted
Just a few moments ago
Even though I had known it for quite some time
But the work of time does not vanish in an instant
And I am again being squeezed in that old mould
But I am not setting in it any more

Let me fly away
For I am not in the mood to be here
Let me fly away
For I am restrained where I am
Let me fly away
For it's hard to stay here
Let me fly away
For its torturous holding myself here
Let me fly away
For maybe if I leave now, I may be back tomorrow
Let me fly away
For maybe then I may become the exception
Yes,let me fly-fly away
BY- SYED ASHRAF HUSAIN

Another of my poems from the cold storage. I have rebelled and have found my peace but still.................................
The need to rebel is as old as civilization itself. This poem written many years ago is an expression of that maybe atavistic need itself.
It is about the time when I wanted to rebel. Now of course I am at peace with myself having been there, seen it and also done it all.
Lookin back those times seem full of immaturity. But in retrospect even the urge to rebel is a great teacher
Enjoy it.
Ending ASHRAF

Another Sem Passes

Another Semester has passed.

And wow what a sem this has been.

Its been good and it's been bad. So a mixed sem as such.

But there is only one undeniable thing about this sem-it was over in a wink. Am still surprised it's over.

It was mixed as at times I had the time of my life and there were days where loneliness and emptiness nearly made me loose my sanity.

"Loneliness and emptiness"- surprising words especially esp for people who know my life at least from the outside. Many batchmates, juniors and even seniors have at different time come up to me and confessed that they ENVY MY LIFESTYLE. They can only see the outer facade of me being there everywhere, part of the mag board , talking to gals etc.

But the emptiness is felt at the end of the day when there is no one around. I am indeed living a good life but something's absence or presence makes it all worthless. I wish I could figure out what the void is all about.

Too much of melodramatic talk. I think I will move on. Frankly this sem I had a lot of fun with and without the mag board.

Had two rocking treats at "Sheesha's" and "Bashos". PURE FUN. It's been a pure ecstacy being there and enjoying myself. But if there was fun then we had work being done too. And Mag Board is about that 50-50 mixture of fun and work.

A lot of stuff was done this sem. We worked on a recruitment brochure for the college which sadly has not yet seen the light of the day, had a successful treasure hunt, had a notice board and most of all Published the first edition of the "eMAGe", the Mag Board at AIT e-letter. And I am proud of it all.

In acads me and my project partner decided not to pursue the AI paper this sem, so had a chill out sem. Not much action there actually but so what.

Anyway I guess I covered a lot of ground. Time to cease the typing.

Bye

Ashraf's log saturday 14th Oct 4:00 am

Monday, September 25, 2006

Aakriti 06-07

Aakriti 2006-07 is up and the results are in...................................... It appears E&Tc have won defeating I.T. who did make a valiant effort.

Comp (my branch) came a scandalous fourth.

Guess Aakriti has come and gone for another year as usual. For comp it will be another year another time now. Lets hope its next,or else I would have the ignominous honour of being a batch who passed their engineering without seeing the aakriti trophy in our hands.

Moving on Comp seriously was never in the race. We were far too divided a class and a branch to do anything constructive. We did not loose because others were strong but rather because we were too weak. I could actually rant a lot more but I will be civilized enough not too.

But the biggest truth of life is that Aakriti never really matters. All forget. So a wait for another year is on the cards.

Another year,another time

Wednesday, August 2, 2006

SE second semester results

Zindagi barbaad ho gayi, Duniya ujad gayi,
Ab padhne se kuch faayda nahin,

Anyway the above was my first reaction to the results. Not a plesant one by even a mile but livable.

Going home in ten days. Guess I will have to face some uncomfortable questions out there. My parents are unable to comprehend what happened to their role model son who simply stopped studying after he joined engineering despite being a topper all along. And because a child parents know him/her best, they know I have not been studying. They know I have the brains and the caliber but just wont get down to it.

The hard facts are that I have M3 down which is surprising coz M3 went fine. Beyond it all have 58% aggre which is embarrasing at the very least.

Two years have passed since I stopped studying. Guess now is as good a time as any to start. Need the marks or else all my long term plans will become redundant.

Anyway enjoying the blue's. They r really dark.

Bye c ya

Friday, July 28, 2006

Me the mag board Secretary

Well I am the new mag board secretary of my college.
Frankly its a dream come true.
Never really believed when I joined the mag board as an FE that one day I would be in-charge.
Yet I always hoped I one day would be.
We all dream and I am lucky that one of my dreams have been fulfilled.
IT'S A PLEASURE TO LEAD WHAT I HAVE ALWAYS BELIEVED TO BE THE MOST TALENTED BUNCH OF STUDENTS IN THE COLLEGE, and this includes both FE's,SE's and TE's too.
Archana is the girls sec and I am very proud to say that most of the SE's who were there last year decided to stay on as honourary members. I am happy that they trust me enough to know they are welcome.
Jeetu who has on my request come in as the Hindi editor is also the guy to whom I am indebted for being willing to heed the call.
TE's Aastha,Sumedha,Pratima, Aditi, Varun and Vaibhav who have stayed on affirm my faith in what I believe to be a joint effort.
I have many ideas. Lets see how many of them I can put into action.
Bye for now

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Life is Good

I thought that I would write about how life is going but I simply have nothing much to write.

The point is life is decent. At times I miss certain people certain things but then there is not much interesting going on right now.

Am starting to lag behind in class. Need to set the pace

Have a lot of plans. Lets see how the cards fall.

Will let u know more about things as they happen.

Ciyao ASHRAF

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

My True Colour

Take this test at Tickle


My true color is Black!


What's Your True Color?

Well take this rather enjoyable test. So what is ur true colour. Mine is black.

Sunday, July 9, 2006

I am back

Like a Phoenix turning to ashes and then miraulously transforming back to its old self, the times ave changed and I am back.
A new semester start and I am back where I like to be. In the middle of it all. The place where all the action is going to unfold.
And I love it all. Newer avenues, and another new sem.
With my net connection back,in a way I too am back on the net. So see u all. Around
And Aastha its hard to write a blog in the pl's. If u notice the last entrywas a temporary ciyao.
Anyway been here a week and missed home terribly yesterday.
Was in my room and felt the darkness engulf me. But good times and bad times all pass and I hung on knowing that time does not stop.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Good Bye

The sem has ended.
Pl's are upon us.
And I look back
Someone I was having a remote conversation with today calle it monotonous but I disagree.
I personally enjoyed this whole sem.
Had so much of fun this sem writing papers that I simply cant put it in words.
The adrenalin rush makes those memories last. Tight schedules and hole ridden ideas.
Beyond this all, worked my nights for the college magazine
Hope it is worth the effort.

But there are regrets.
Did not code. Should have made afew more programs( Its not that I cant code but I simply was to short of time) Thought will do it later but the sem ended in a wink
Next sem will focus on coding skills
Also wanted to learn more about hacking. But time cut it short.
Next sem again

Should have stopped to pick up more daisies.
Sadly did not

Will be back next sem

BYE
ASHRAF

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Recursive Poetry

For hard-core programming enthusiastics I have a challenge.
Think of recursive poetry and also evaluate in programmin terms about some lines u like.
Use the comments.
I will begin
Aaenae mein ek aks tha,
Aur aks mein phir wohi aaena tha.
The above lines are recursive in nature. The mirror has a reflection and the reflection again has the same mirror. hence mirror calls mirror with reflection as the new parameter as mirror.

Confused!!!!

Also thanks to Dharam and Aakarshak for their great idea.
Sakhee for being able to withstand my ramblings.

Something for my Situation

Tasveer banaata hoon, tasveer nahin banti
Ek khvaab sa dekha hai taabiir nahin banti

Bedard muhabbat ka itna sa hai afsaana
Nazaron se mili nazaren main ho gayaa deewana
Ab dil ke bahlane ki tadbir nahin banti

Dam bhar ke liye meri duniya mein chale aao
Tarsi hui aankhon ko phir shaql dikhaa jaao
Mujhse to meri bigadi taqdir nahin banti

I think the above lines are very appropriate for the time being. They come close to where I am. A poem for every situation.
Stop looking at reflections. Look in the mirror.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Time

Na mohabbat , na dosti ke liye, waqt rukta nahin kisi ke liye,
Kal jawani ka hashr kya hoga, soch le aaj tu do ghadi ke liye

Time keeps flying and I just cant help being amazed at its speed.
The sem is about to end, capping off two years at AIT.
And as in the sher above one has to wonder- when will this ever end ? Maybe never!
Everything will pass and only memories greying with time will remain.
We are all so weak and mortal.
How many people will remember u and me
Thats the question.
Not many!
Think
Spend the moments you have better.

Waqt ki qaid mein zindagi hai magar
Chand ghadiyaan yahi hai jo aazaad hai
In ko kho kar abhii jaan-e-jaan
Umr bhar na tarasate raho

Live ur life better.
We are all prisoners of time to be freed only by death( no one can contradict me here I guess).
Dont have regrets for tomorrow!

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Project Blank-Noise

This blog is in support of Project Blank Noise. (click to use the link)

Blank- that which is not allowed meaning, form or articulation. Noise- that which heightens, builds itself. Eve Teasing as the name suggests,is considered a joke, a prank.Eve Teasing is street sexual harassment. The project seeks to recognize eve teasing as a sexual crime and establish the issue as something that may be normal, but is unacceptable.(these lines have been taken from the group's blog site)

Please go to the blog and try to support it

Sexual harassment of women is a major problem in India and everywhere. But unlike the west our society shies away from recognizing it for what it is- a crime nothing more and certainly nothing less?
Women of all ages are sexually harrassed by perverts for only one reason- because they belive the women are weak and more importantly the fact that they can get away with it.
How many cases of harassment are reported in India? Though there are no figures are available I would say that the figure would be miniscule.
Because most times it is seen to be the ladies fault.
  • She was out late.
  • She was wearning inviting clothes.
  • She was of a suspected character.
  • etc etc
These are the things used to justify the unjustifiable.
Damms us doesnt it.
But the world must change.
And its we who must herald the change.
Let there be no justification of a sexual crime.
How about more severe punishments for crime against women?
Let rape be a punishable by death with a minimum sentence of 12 years in case of a conviction.
Let eve-teasing have more severe penalties especially if it is repeated
I dont think this a radical or extreme solution.
This is rather workable.
You could disagree with me on the ways to achieve the targets but you would agree that harrassment of girls and women ought to end.
There ought to be no place in our society for any such acts.
And no, the clothes a girl is wearing or where and at what time she is , should never matter.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

A Win at Last

Though everyone would know by now yet let me inform everyone again that me and Varun won the Paper presentation at B.V.P. bagging 2nd prize.
Have had too many rejections.
Nothing more than a win to bring cheer to my gloomy life. The paper was on ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE AND IRRATIONAL BEHAVIOUR.
Also the same paper along with another on wearable computing co-authored with Sonali(the team leader) and Sakhee(the doubter) was selected for the AIT tech fest. In the presentation level I could not go on to the stage for some stupid reason but Sonali and Sakhee were absolutely wonderful especially for a paper which they themselves doubted. I still think we deserved to win. The idea of an IPU I insist is revolutionary.
Though I did not win for I must confess that I hate loosing , the presentation gave us the time to fine-tune our act. Maybe this was the critical factor. At BVP we also got along with everything a cool 4000 bucks.
MOVING ON
The sem vanishes in a wind and it all ends.
Have beautiful memories from this sem
Bunking CG and attending maths was a torture (Samajhne waale samajh gaye hain, jo na samjhe woh anari hain).
The fun in pestering people with sms's(I got addicted, am in rehab)
Free treats worth 50 bucks(at least a promise which I will try to ensure holds true)
Sleepless nights working on papers in which only I believed in.
Arguing like hell with Varun
AND MANY MANY MORE

Monday, March 20, 2006

THE BLUES! Am I a sufferer

THE GLOOMINESS
My life has suddenly turned bitter.
I wake up and find that my heart is empty. There is emptiness and desolation all around. I walk in the desert of life looking at every person around as if in a dream.
Is this the precursor of the blues? The darkness in me which turns everything grey, threatens to totally drown me.
Its hard to breathe and I wonder if I am clinically depressed.
But then life goes.
A lifeless sun rises and sets culminating a lifeless day. Day after day after day.
Will joy ever return to my life?
That’s the question I ask!
Maybe.. maybe not.
And I just manage to survive.
The times are tough and this is my life.
And people call me arrogant. Maybe I am too blind to see my own arrogance or they misrecognize. Whatever be it they cause me to think over my actions. And I blow holes in my own defence.
When can I find joy?
Will announce when I can feel happy again.
Bye

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Holi At AIT

HAPPY HOLI Everyone
Holi celebrations in AIT have their own colour. Maybe its the fact that most of us are there in the hostels and holi is after all the festival of gaiety of fun, colour and lets not forget to mention it ---WATER.
Akshat Chand sir claims that he enjoyed the whole day( along with the fact that he had more than a 100 bucks of ice-cream TO TOP UP EVERY THING).
As for me having slept at about three ,being sadly in no mood to at all to get splashed in colours and with a room which shared my sentiments, Holi very nearly was a normal day.
Woke up at nine, remained confined to my room for some time watching the revelry from my window.
But then when I thought I was safe I ventured out only to get caught in 1-D. The whole flank floor was wet and I was dragged from the first room door to the bathroom door by a crowd of people I wont forget for a long long time. The colours on my Kurta Payjama bear witness to the holi.
Beyond everyone had whatever his preferrences in holi.
So how was your holi!
Share something.
Bye
ashraf

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Blog

A blog is supposed to be updated daily.
But in my case, the blog has very rarely updated. So the moment my connection which expires today, is renewed, I promise I will start adding new posts as frequently as I can.
A true blog... Maybe..
Maybe not.
Too tight schedules.
Only time will tell

Tuesday, March 7, 2006

FLY AWAY
I had tried to be the norm,
But I had failed.
I have tried to be the exception
But I am not doing very well
For I am treapped in an image
An image of my own making
And now I am trying to fly free


I made that image
For I thought that was what i wanted
But I was off the mark
And I think I realized what I truly wanted
Just a few moments ago
Even though I had known it for quite some time
But the work of time does not vanish in an instant
And I am again being squeezed in that old mould
But I am not setting in it any more
Let me fly away


For I am not in the mood to be here
Let me fly away
For I am restrained where I am
Let me fly away
For it's hard to stay here
Let me fly away
For its torturous holding myself here
Let me fly away
For maybe if I leave now, I may be back tomorrow
Let me fly away
For maybe then I may become the exception
Yes,let me fly-fly away


BY- SYED ASHRAF HUSAIN

The need to rebel is as old as civilization itself. This poem written many years ago is an expression of that maybe atavistic need itself.
It is about the time when I wanted to rebel. Now of course I am at peace with myself having been there, seen it and also done it all.
Lookin back those times seem full of immaturity. But in retrospect even the urge to rebel is a great teacher
Enjoy it.
BYE -ASHRAF

Friday, February 10, 2006

Result Time

S.E. First Sem Results:--
So they came finally. In the end it still was a shock but so is every result.
The results of S.E. had one big pattern- dip of marks. But what also emerged was a big shocker- a difference of just 3 or 4% between the top three positions.
Sonali Yadav who had till now been leaving opposition miles behind in the final count; dipped and touched 76 while jeetu and ghule became the only people able to maintain their percentage and in the process came rather close to the present deity. Is Sonali also fallible? That is a question only time will answer!
Now to me. I got a down and 55%. Not a happy scenario but livable.
Also with E.D.C. being so widely down a subject( me included), an E.D.C. down club has been formed. Membership is restricted to bonafide edc down students only. Aastha Sharma is the president of the club. Please contact her for further details.
On the roll call of honour the following names stand etched for eternity.

  1. Aastha Sharma
  2. Syed Ashraf Husain
  3. Prateek
  4. Megha Mehta
  5. Varun- Minocha, Singh and Nagal
  6. Pankaj Yadav
  7. And many other unnamed souls finally totalling to 26.

    But for all those who are in the Doldrums like me, dont panic. Two sems remain to pump up the percentage. And no battle is over, till it is finally so.
And Dharam take it easy. It could anyday have been worse.
And for those like_______ who are gloomy at perfectly decent marks and pretend otherwise, cheer up. Life is not all about marks and distinctions. Its much more beautiful.


Over for now , ashraf

Sunday, February 5, 2006

POETRY ARCHIVES

TWO QUARTERS OF A YEAR

Two quarters of a year have passed,
Since you made your exit from the scene,
And even now you are nowhere backstage,
For you have vanished ,
Almost like you were never here,
But I am still searching for you,
For I know you were here,
Two quarters of a year in the past.


It was a warm February day,
Birds were chirping, the sun was out,
And I had realized my luck was out,
For you were free to never return,
And as for me, you still haven’t.


I watched you cross the desolate ground,
With dainty steps raising little dust,
And I knew that I never would be able to forget you.
For as you cut through the dusty land,
My heart sank like a ship in the abyss,
And gave me more pain than an open wound.


Two quarters of a year have passed,
And yet a part of me is still on that ground,
Walking up and down, the gloomy land ,
And watching you again and again cross the dusty patch,
For I have never really accepted your loss,
Even though there was little I could have done,
For although I wince to pen,
We were just far too different,
But even then a part of me is still on that ground,
Two quarters of a year in the past.

BY- SYED ASHRAF HUSAIN
First of all this is not a recent poem. It dates back to that tumultous year when I finally discovered I could pen both poetry and prose and even enjoy myself in the process. Creativity is a release and no one knows it better than the writer himself.
This poem is about unfulfilled love and the events that made a poet out of me. This poem is part of a trio with the same theme of seperation titled funnily enough" Three months have passed,Two quarters of a year and three quarters of a year". Each one was written exactly at the end of three, six and nine months since the day it all ended or as i should say it all began. In this poem the piognancy of the moment I hope is captured by the whole allusion of being back there on the ground. This is about the inability to move on. The heart is a river with no outlet and if the pen releases enough water, one day there is calm and peace.
I did make my peace finally.
ENDING- ASHRAF

Saturday, January 28, 2006

RULES OF LOVE-MY VIEW

Love In The Time Of McDonalds

One burger,french-fries and a coke. Ready in two minutes. No waiting. Same quality always. These my friend, are the trends of our times epitomized by what else, just fast food.
Bob Dylan sang a song long time back which dwelled on the theme that “The times they are a changing”.
But a long time has passed since then and to put it simply Bob Dylan needs revision. So let me make an attempt- “The times have changed and hope you have felt them change”. Okay it’s not an exemplary effort but it still is a decent one.
What I want to say is the world has changed so drastically in the last couple of years that all notions of homogeneity of a culture and concepts of a society have become redundant for all practical purposes. And if you think I am blabbering just look around at the trends sweeping our neighbourhood.
Everything has changed. The joint family concept is as extinct as communism and nationalization of industries. Money has strangely enough become more free-flowing and it’s a fad now to spoil oneself.
Modern means of communication have made our lives easier. The lives that we lead may be easier than those of a generation before us but its not all that easy as many people may like to convince themselves. Modern lives have their own fears and their own demons. The demons in a way never die, they just change their faces.
In our modern lives despite all the means to communicate, LONELINESS has assumed epidemic portions. The number of times that we are bored despite everything is simply incomprehensible. Bored in this era of entertainment is in itself a contradiction but that is the sad truth.
And maybe this is why the area that has changed most is the domain of relationships which has ceased to be uniform in any way. A few years ago arranged marriages enjoyed a monopoly and any relationships were looked down. I don’t say love did not exist but it was of a different kind. There were no open confessions nor any long trips to the parks. Love had an existence above words and as a poet put it ,the lovers of yesterday are today parents of different kids. A tragedy maybe but that was another era.
In this modern world where people have increasingly started to search and marry for love, ironically its love itself that has been lost from view. A much abused word; highly commercialized and commoditized, love has been intentionally merged and confused with lust, infatuation and many other emotions.
True love where it is companionship and concern, that matters at least for some time, has few seekers and hardly any finders today. I may be wrong and maybe my ranting is just an extension of an inherent frustration. To love was, and though people have forgotten, still is to care about that particular someone special. But now many times love metamorphoses into acts of stalking and pure harassment. This is not love. It’s a horrible mutation as horrendous as a cancerous tumour ravaging a helpless body.
Personally I feel the fact that relationships have come out of the closet is a positive thing but it’s also true that a lot of once banal things are now acceptable. And this is one of the biggest travesties of change. Where hearts are freely sought, hearts also break like glass. And hearts of stone or hearts of broken glass pain equally bad.
There is just too much of inadvertently caused hurt. In the vicissitudes of the times where a cacophony of voices drown each other out, the individual survives in a lonely and silent dimension. Most search for love as an escape. And maybe it is after all an escape.
Things have become easier with the dawning of acceptability. Its easier to ask someone out and its easier to say yes. But maybe it’s become too easy. People fall in love and fall out. They simply don’t sit back to analyze what went wrong . True love is something everyone talks about but no one knows what it is. Sad ain’t it.
So now comes the time for the critical question- what am I suggesting by all this? Is it merely ranting of a demented mind against something it can’t simply reconcile to. NO, there was a purpose, there is a message.
What I suggest is that instead of letting things happen as the cards fall out, a more proactive approach should be used. If something makes you happy make efforts to maintain it. Ego’s and attitudes should never be a factor. Its not about mutual agreement. Even one willing person can carry a relationship very far. And when someone makes things better for the person he loves, ultimately he fills joy in his own life. Trust me this is true. I myself am the biggest believer of this fact.
The more time we invest in a relationship, the better it becomes. And its applicable to all relationships-whether personal or public. There is always a breaking point in every relationship. It’s best not to play with it.Tough times are the best test of a person’s character. In this age of fast food the truth that time never stops and the fact that one day youth will be gone never to come back should not be forgotten. Time is flying away. An effort should be made to spend it well. Our lives are trivial. It’s the legacy that we leave that actually matters. And treasure what you have today, for tomorrow it just may be history.
/*This article is a sneak preview of my article in this years srijna( my college magazine) just for my blog readers. Hope you like it. Comments welcome*/
Refil Empty- ASHRAF

THE AIT COMP CLASS OF 08



THE ABOVE IS THE BEST PHOTO OF S.E. COMP THAT I COULD FIND THOUGH THERE ARE A FEW SENIORS HERE.IF SOMEONE HAS A BETTER PHOTO PLEASE GIVE IT TO ME



Last Updated on 28th July 2006
Before this website was my blog Click to view
However initially no one visited it. Even when I requested people to come they did not. Well this page was then created as a post on my blog.
Then curiosity got everyone to the blog.
The popularity meant this page had to come.
The comment have been archive for history with proper documentation. Click to see. Very interesting stuff and very encouraging for me.

TITLES FOR THE WHOLE BATCH
1)ME but giving myself a title would be narcissism of the top order. However my friend VARUN gives me the title of the old monk, ghazal and shairy freak and so totally an enigmatic and virtually insatiable demon of knowledge. (varun " hey guys i wrote this personally, i believe in every word i wrote ")
Sonali Brands me as NDTV 24X7
HUZOOR is the name many know me by.
Now the time for me to write about me. Let me just poke fun at myself. I am in an eternal war aginst weight(people try to gain, I try best but fail to loose). I am obsessed with poetry and prose. I write much but I fear much of it may be worthless ramblings just like this. I am a bonafide 50% nothing student of P.U.

Also recently it seems others know more about my private life than I do. Since nothing exists,I am creating my own rumours by denying nothing. BUT what the hell!
How does it matter?

Beyond it all it seems this whole SE Comp title stuff is backfiring on me. Instead of being the fun thing it was supposed to be , it is turning to be quite a trouble with people who I have poked fun at convinced that I am trying to slander them or have an agenda against them.

Everyone if I am having a laugh at your cost I am willing to be laughed back at. Hell I laugh at myself here if you can see it.
And I cant write equally about everyone because I simply enough dont know the 60 people well enough to write about them. Beyond it I simply cant update more than ten people on a regular basis. And people about whom I have not written much are also minding. So the people I write mind what I write and those about whom I dont write mind that I am not writng about them. It seems I might be loosing friends and I dont like this scenario.

2)
VARUN SINGH bags the title of POTTER. Also his brains have been sapped away by consumption of water that sonali gets along. Poor guy is loosing it all.

Do you know he is a Pullitzer prize winning painter.
Also he is trying to gain weight. Sits next to me and says " I am not gaining a kilo. I need to get fat". My reply " Damn I am not loosing even a kilo".

Also the C.S. who nearly was. Infact for a some time we thought he was. COurse now he simply states he never ever was close to it but we know the truth.
The Aakriti Champ .
But first and foremost a friend and a person who knows more about my personal life than my parents.

3)
JEETU
as the KHATTE KING of class and also the class bhand. His singing is unfortunately a little difficult to bear. The guy is forever willing to help.

Now by popular demand his title has been changed to torture king(courtesy ddharamm...)


4)
DHARAM (Dharamendra Prasad)
as the born computer geek. Also one of those rare guys with a heart of gold. Also proud member of a still-born idea called ATG.Beyond everything the guy encourages me like hell in all my endeavours.
ALso nearly my would -be -roomie.

Now part of the new call boys gang(pun intended). Hope the call center job helps him be what he wants to be.

5) VARUN RAJ MINOCHA is elected as the trendsetter of the class willing to go where no one has dared to go before.
A 'Wolverine' aficionado he is the wannabe synthesiser player.

Sadly my-outgoing roomie.


6)
SANJEEV PANDEY
wins hands-down the class pessimist.No one that I have met till date has disagreed with the title.
Advice for him- Man cheer up and stop crying over trivial things.



7)
PARIKSHIT SINGH CHAILLA
as the class dreamer and the big idea guy. To him goes also the coveted award for intellectualism for having convictions and also the ability to defend them.
He is also a karate green belt won by paying the fees as bribe on the day of the award.
Vital stats- Waist 25"(should be censored as it gives people like me a complex), wt.=58 kg(no one believes the figure)
Conclusion- Only 12% of all girls and 2% of guys in the same age group are thinner than him.

8)
SONALI YADAV is crowned as the present class genius with marks in the realms of fantasy for me and most of the rest. Also she is gets the patience award for handling potter and as potter says, even me. God she's talented.

And she also is a gold medal winning JUDO KARATE black belt. Few know this.
Sakhee is eternally afraid of angering her because of this.Her success secret" finish the entire course b4 the PL's begin". The info is sourced from unknown unreliable sources.

A great stickler for integrity she will go to any lengths to keep her word. Loves dogs especially huge breeds and strays.

9) GARIMA MAHAJAN gets the bravery award for actually gathering enough courage to raise her voice and managing to ask a question once in one and a half years.
She is trying hard though.
One day we will finally again hear her voice.

10)
PALLAVI
CHAURASIA is hereby crowned as the debating queen for always managing to disagree with even the most meekly expressed opinion.

Also always carries an obscene amount of change in that humongously huge wallet of hers. Borrow everyone.
Sonali calls her KUNG-FU Fighter. Sakhi and others second the motion.

Pallavi's reaction--"1) I dnt care" "2) MY FOOT"
Still a wonderful person to talk to.

Of course her journals are a torture. 14 pages long assignments.

Ask me. Had to miss two lectures because of them.


11)
AASTHA SHARMA shares the award with SAKHEE
for the title of choreo queens and she is also CAPTAIN C.C. club( ask Aastha what it means).
Also a trained kathak dancer, she has done many shows.
Also her basketball skills are legendary. The moment she steps across the line we win.
No one knows how she does it!

Proud member of a group called the mag board and she has been kind enough to stay this year too. Am glad for it. Leads in enthusiasm by example.

12)
SAKHEE DHEER also gets the heritage award for actually liking old songs. She also gets a patience award belatedly in recognition of her efforts to bear with potter,24x7 and genius ltd.

She is also an accomplished tai-chi fighter(a jap-red indian martial art). Uses it to scare and scar guys. Will show you a few moves if u trouble her.A prodigal singer she is also an archaelogy and history buff and loves to discuss them. The CAT fighter.

13)
SANTOSH RATHORE
is the ghazal club sec for being the only person i know having a ghazal collection as big as mine(we have a common collection). Also the guy with an excellent sense of humor



He is gonna be my next roomie. I think itz ghazals and shaayri all day. Feel pity for Dharam(pun intended)
My new roomie. We end up enjoying all day long. The fun guy, never afraid to say something to a teacher.

14)
MEGHA
MEHTA gets the nominated as the ex-first lady(hope u get it) .Also she has the height to give XXVI a height complex.
But moving on she wants me to write something about her,so she gets a gallantry award. Let everyone figure this out- for what??
Also thankfully S.E. Comp's lone basketball hope.

Her new look in fifth sem is awesome. With the new hair job, many people simply cant believe its our old megha. Of course she left Orkut, pestered by strangers.
Anyway she also gets the award for being the most professional dozer in the class. Sits perfectly straight and sleeps.
Well this is a habit thats surely gonna help her later.

15)
ARJUN
ANKATHIL gets the crusader award for loosing control at the injustice around him.Also the orkut guy. Has created a S.E. Comp workgroup.

16)
ANURAG CHOPRA
gets the award for the best explanation for the simple DS program with exemplary wits and ofcourse our dear khatta king. ("anyquestionsnonefinemovingonbyebye")
Also according to anurag the ratio of side AB and BC of a triangle is A/C(angle).He actually argued that it was true. Thanks to Tosif for the scoop

17)
PRANEET
gets the award for being the most innocent devil.Also introduced by rathore as Parineeta ka bhai.

Our new C.R., he is gonna be in trouble unless he manages to get us atendance.



18) SALMAN GHULE gets the award for the being the most visible fighter. He even changed his batch for that still unknown person. SAHU comes a close second. Kyonki fighter hi hamesha jeetta hai. Another of the Call boys band( works in a call center) of the class

19)
SAHNI
gets formally christened as dhoni . All hail him.

20)
SHEKU
gets the persistence award in trying his best to escape the lecturers gaze but failing to do so.

21)
SHANKAR
gets the award for the coolest earrings in class. Hey girls please match up. He is one tough competition.

22)
AKSHAY
is the c.r. who never really left Also part of the class debating team


23) DIXIT is the guy happy to organize.

24) Nayab gets to create waves and also studylike hell throughout the year



25) Nagal is the hard to read guy. He believes First Input Waale Hi Output Le jaayenge.

26) Tosif is hereby named as the villian of C batch for doing all prac work before time and setting tough base levels. He is also a gem of a person despite all the insults he has written in the comments.
His first crush was on MARIE CURIE and presently has a crush on one girl of our class that he does not want to name.

27) Sumit is the silent guy.Some also believe the naughtiest.

28) Aakarshak or aku for the ability to laugh at his own khatte . The techie guy for algorithms and C++ is his forte.

29) Brajesh (H.O.D) wins the award for the mad scientist look.


30) Vineet goes blind when he sees a gal. Thank god he is in C batch(jeetu says this)

31) Tyagi is the hidden topper

32) Bloda is the cool haryanvi dhakad chora

33) Thakur from Buxar(bihar).

34) Kartik for being the invisible guy

35) Kartikeyan never tells time to others in practical for he has been in the fire for it.
The NSS sec, the guy is gonna get the campus cleaned up this sem.

36) Rajesh is one wannabe techie guy.

37) Pankaj for finding fun in everything. ALso his marathi skills are excellent.

38) Dudi the pillar of our class who deserted us

39) Chandu ke chacha ne chandu ki chachi ko........ Aage khud samjho .

The guy was once caught reading egr. in the bathroom..

40) Gajendra.P.S.S. our class's gps. he is the ideal student in class till he starts speaking.

41) Durgesh please tell us when it is cold

42) Gajendra P. as the clas HE-MAN.

43) SANJAY Negi for being the chatting freak as he is. has 19 girlfriends and I believe neither he has seen them nor they him.(Jeetu adds tabhi to tiki padi hain)

43) Arun and Ankush for being C.R's of such mettle that we still don't know it. They both make a nice pair.


44) Sanade is the low profile guy. Girls find him cute and he makes it a point to keep as far away from each one as possible.

45) Sahu is proud member of the hated questions group which also includes me,potter and sonali. Also the class debater

46) ASHISH BISHTis the guy with the silent humour. Of course to him this was all meaningless but still.


47) SAMYAL is the class punjab da puttar and the complete sportsperson
48) Pankaj Yadav is the don from Ghazipur. There is only one girl in class he is senti on. Should I name her. Maybe some other time when I update the page

Sunday, January 22, 2006

DEATH, the final truth

DEATH ,THE FINAL TEST OF A PRIDE


Life took it's final chances with death,

Just as the sun drowned in the west,

For as fate played it's deathly game,

Death touched someone close.


Just across town someone grieves,

Just across town someone cries,

For its the living who honour the death,

As those gone live on in the mind.


A beautiful light suddenly estinguished,

A bright future suddenly darkened,

Another notch for the count,

Few will remember today as it was tommorow.


Birth and death; Death and birth

The cycle repeats again and again

For though comfort is scarce tonight,

Time shall fill the empty bowl to the brim

.
The lesson is clear, death is the final test of pride,

And before it vanity has always flopped ,

For no one has ever taken any thing along,

As in this world we come alone, leave alone.

BY- ASHRAF

Death in a way is the ultimate truth of life. It is the reality from which no one can escape. No one is insulated or safe from this awesomely powerful event which turns the persons whole life to dust.

One of the biggest paradoxes of our lives, death as i was once told in my childhood needs no reason or permission but just an excuse. This reasoning stems from a very interesting tale but that is another story in itself.

Some other time maybe.

The above poem was written on the night death touched a very close friend of mine. Its an expression of the inability to do anything, just stand along watching the deadly dance of death. So many years have passed since that night and yet when i think about it i can remember every single detail, every single
emotion and eerily enough even that winter's night cold
wind brushing against my
face.

And yet the living move on. Comfort which was in so short a
quantity that night has come to the affected. And despite all the odds to the contrary each night does end, a new sun does rise everyday
.

Over for now- ASHRAF

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Urdu poetry

Ajab apnaa haal hotaa jo visaal-e-yaar hotaa


ajab apnaa haal hotaa jo visaal-e-yaar hotaa

kabhii jaan sadaqe hotii kabhii dil nisaar hotaa


na mazaa hai dushmanii mein na hai lutf dostii mein

koii Gair Gair hotaa koii yaar yaar hotaa


ye mazaa thaa dillagi kaa ke barabar aag lagatii

na tumhein qaraar hotaa na hamen qaraar hotaa


tere waade par sitamagar abhii aur sabr karate

agar apanii zindagii kaa hamein aitabaar hotaa

As i have already mentioned I am a urdu poetry buff. This is my first posting of an urdu poem or ghazal as it is called traditionally.

Ghazals consist of sher or couplets that are two line each. Each sher makes sense by itself and also as a group.

The above ghazal is by the urdu poet DAAG DEHLVI.

The first two line can be read roughly as " Wonderfully strange would have had been my situation if i could have met my love, Sometimes life would be mortgaged and sometimes the heart would be gifted"

The next sher can be read as " No more fun is left in enmity neither any enjoyment left in friendship, Any stranger would be a stranger and friends would be friends in totality ".

The translation for the third sher or the fifth line would be " The fun of losing hearts is in equal fires in both hearts, None of the lovers can enjoy any peace in each others absence"

The last lines read " On your promise to come ,o torturer, i would have waited more, Only if I was sure of my life to survive some more which i am not"

SIGNING OFF-ASHRAF

JOURNEYS OF THE MIND

JOURNEYS OF THE MIND- an extract from Journeys a 5000 word essay written by the author for a contest
The journey of the mind is the journey of life. There are no reservations, no travel agents, no queues, and no fog delays; othing of the conventional journey. But it is that one single journey that makes or breaks someone. The journey of the mind is the journey to the edge the cliff and back. And if your journey is doomed then over the cliff.
The human mind is a beautiful thing. The abstract concepts of the self are a creation of our mind. States of ecstasy and joy are felt in our mind only. But the mind is itself on a journey of evolution and self discovery. As children our mind knows single emotions only. So the joy that we experience as children is absolute and as children we find joy in the smallest of things. If most of us were to remember hard enough everyone would come up with some now trivial things that gave us joy. In my journeys recently I found myself walking on the most fashionable street in town with a friend. We passed a soap bubbles paraphernalia vendor blowing bubbles on the street. Six or seven children - small kids none over ten were having a gala time trying to touch the bubbles and watching the short lived bubbles magically disappear. You could see from the faces hear from their shouts and laughter that they were having a perfectly joyous moment. They did not remember any other thing at that moment and were enjoying themselves as if nothing else mattered.
This is what we loose on growing up I told my friend and in that time frame we mourned the loss of the wonderful thing called childhood. An unspoken silence of grief filled the distance between. We were two adults walking on the most fashionable street in Pune in trendy attire with sufficiently loaded pockets and yet the kids were far much happier than us. Later when we exchanged notes we knew that as adult’s absolute joy ceased to exist for us. The joy that we now felt was conditional. We thought of that one thing, that one deepest desire that would give us the most joy and we realized that even if we suddenly get it, those kids would still have more joy than us. During such moments life suddenly seems so bland.
The mind is a terrible thing. It determines your day, all your actions. At the edge of the cliff it’s the mind that makes you stumble forward not your feet. At the worst of times it can fill you with grief, for days make your existence a pain filled and a joy less void. I have been to the edge where I thought of suicide and how I survived the times even I don’t know. Looking back now at the very dark times I feel like laughing but back then joy it seemed had been exiled from my existence.
Afterwards when I emerged out of that dark period, I had changed. With joy having returned after many months, I learnt to appreciate joy in subtle things. I also had matured in the way that things that had earlier made me think of suicide would later simply hurt and even that would go after a while.
And during the journey of the mind I experienced a lot more emotions up from the earlier simple ones. It took a lot of time comprehending the mixed emotion. Sometimes love and hatred would mix wrenching my heart apart. At other times sadness would mix with helplessness poisoning my entire existence. Afterwards joy had brave new meanings and I leant to savor solitude.
The journey of the mind never ends. One phase is replaced by another. In my present journey I have graduated from total self discovery to trying to live with negative things like regrets disappointments and banishing other negative emotions wherever possible. The journey of the mind is also the effect of making your self what you want to be. I ceaselessly try to be a better human being ,a better person in my journeys.