Saturday, January 28, 2006

RULES OF LOVE-MY VIEW

Love In The Time Of McDonalds

One burger,french-fries and a coke. Ready in two minutes. No waiting. Same quality always. These my friend, are the trends of our times epitomized by what else, just fast food.
Bob Dylan sang a song long time back which dwelled on the theme that “The times they are a changing”.
But a long time has passed since then and to put it simply Bob Dylan needs revision. So let me make an attempt- “The times have changed and hope you have felt them change”. Okay it’s not an exemplary effort but it still is a decent one.
What I want to say is the world has changed so drastically in the last couple of years that all notions of homogeneity of a culture and concepts of a society have become redundant for all practical purposes. And if you think I am blabbering just look around at the trends sweeping our neighbourhood.
Everything has changed. The joint family concept is as extinct as communism and nationalization of industries. Money has strangely enough become more free-flowing and it’s a fad now to spoil oneself.
Modern means of communication have made our lives easier. The lives that we lead may be easier than those of a generation before us but its not all that easy as many people may like to convince themselves. Modern lives have their own fears and their own demons. The demons in a way never die, they just change their faces.
In our modern lives despite all the means to communicate, LONELINESS has assumed epidemic portions. The number of times that we are bored despite everything is simply incomprehensible. Bored in this era of entertainment is in itself a contradiction but that is the sad truth.
And maybe this is why the area that has changed most is the domain of relationships which has ceased to be uniform in any way. A few years ago arranged marriages enjoyed a monopoly and any relationships were looked down. I don’t say love did not exist but it was of a different kind. There were no open confessions nor any long trips to the parks. Love had an existence above words and as a poet put it ,the lovers of yesterday are today parents of different kids. A tragedy maybe but that was another era.
In this modern world where people have increasingly started to search and marry for love, ironically its love itself that has been lost from view. A much abused word; highly commercialized and commoditized, love has been intentionally merged and confused with lust, infatuation and many other emotions.
True love where it is companionship and concern, that matters at least for some time, has few seekers and hardly any finders today. I may be wrong and maybe my ranting is just an extension of an inherent frustration. To love was, and though people have forgotten, still is to care about that particular someone special. But now many times love metamorphoses into acts of stalking and pure harassment. This is not love. It’s a horrible mutation as horrendous as a cancerous tumour ravaging a helpless body.
Personally I feel the fact that relationships have come out of the closet is a positive thing but it’s also true that a lot of once banal things are now acceptable. And this is one of the biggest travesties of change. Where hearts are freely sought, hearts also break like glass. And hearts of stone or hearts of broken glass pain equally bad.
There is just too much of inadvertently caused hurt. In the vicissitudes of the times where a cacophony of voices drown each other out, the individual survives in a lonely and silent dimension. Most search for love as an escape. And maybe it is after all an escape.
Things have become easier with the dawning of acceptability. Its easier to ask someone out and its easier to say yes. But maybe it’s become too easy. People fall in love and fall out. They simply don’t sit back to analyze what went wrong . True love is something everyone talks about but no one knows what it is. Sad ain’t it.
So now comes the time for the critical question- what am I suggesting by all this? Is it merely ranting of a demented mind against something it can’t simply reconcile to. NO, there was a purpose, there is a message.
What I suggest is that instead of letting things happen as the cards fall out, a more proactive approach should be used. If something makes you happy make efforts to maintain it. Ego’s and attitudes should never be a factor. Its not about mutual agreement. Even one willing person can carry a relationship very far. And when someone makes things better for the person he loves, ultimately he fills joy in his own life. Trust me this is true. I myself am the biggest believer of this fact.
The more time we invest in a relationship, the better it becomes. And its applicable to all relationships-whether personal or public. There is always a breaking point in every relationship. It’s best not to play with it.Tough times are the best test of a person’s character. In this age of fast food the truth that time never stops and the fact that one day youth will be gone never to come back should not be forgotten. Time is flying away. An effort should be made to spend it well. Our lives are trivial. It’s the legacy that we leave that actually matters. And treasure what you have today, for tomorrow it just may be history.
/*This article is a sneak preview of my article in this years srijna( my college magazine) just for my blog readers. Hope you like it. Comments welcome*/
Refil Empty- ASHRAF

THE AIT COMP CLASS OF 08



THE ABOVE IS THE BEST PHOTO OF S.E. COMP THAT I COULD FIND THOUGH THERE ARE A FEW SENIORS HERE.IF SOMEONE HAS A BETTER PHOTO PLEASE GIVE IT TO ME



Last Updated on 28th July 2006
Before this website was my blog Click to view
However initially no one visited it. Even when I requested people to come they did not. Well this page was then created as a post on my blog.
Then curiosity got everyone to the blog.
The popularity meant this page had to come.
The comment have been archive for history with proper documentation. Click to see. Very interesting stuff and very encouraging for me.

TITLES FOR THE WHOLE BATCH
1)ME but giving myself a title would be narcissism of the top order. However my friend VARUN gives me the title of the old monk, ghazal and shairy freak and so totally an enigmatic and virtually insatiable demon of knowledge. (varun " hey guys i wrote this personally, i believe in every word i wrote ")
Sonali Brands me as NDTV 24X7
HUZOOR is the name many know me by.
Now the time for me to write about me. Let me just poke fun at myself. I am in an eternal war aginst weight(people try to gain, I try best but fail to loose). I am obsessed with poetry and prose. I write much but I fear much of it may be worthless ramblings just like this. I am a bonafide 50% nothing student of P.U.

Also recently it seems others know more about my private life than I do. Since nothing exists,I am creating my own rumours by denying nothing. BUT what the hell!
How does it matter?

Beyond it all it seems this whole SE Comp title stuff is backfiring on me. Instead of being the fun thing it was supposed to be , it is turning to be quite a trouble with people who I have poked fun at convinced that I am trying to slander them or have an agenda against them.

Everyone if I am having a laugh at your cost I am willing to be laughed back at. Hell I laugh at myself here if you can see it.
And I cant write equally about everyone because I simply enough dont know the 60 people well enough to write about them. Beyond it I simply cant update more than ten people on a regular basis. And people about whom I have not written much are also minding. So the people I write mind what I write and those about whom I dont write mind that I am not writng about them. It seems I might be loosing friends and I dont like this scenario.

2)
VARUN SINGH bags the title of POTTER. Also his brains have been sapped away by consumption of water that sonali gets along. Poor guy is loosing it all.

Do you know he is a Pullitzer prize winning painter.
Also he is trying to gain weight. Sits next to me and says " I am not gaining a kilo. I need to get fat". My reply " Damn I am not loosing even a kilo".

Also the C.S. who nearly was. Infact for a some time we thought he was. COurse now he simply states he never ever was close to it but we know the truth.
The Aakriti Champ .
But first and foremost a friend and a person who knows more about my personal life than my parents.

3)
JEETU
as the KHATTE KING of class and also the class bhand. His singing is unfortunately a little difficult to bear. The guy is forever willing to help.

Now by popular demand his title has been changed to torture king(courtesy ddharamm...)


4)
DHARAM (Dharamendra Prasad)
as the born computer geek. Also one of those rare guys with a heart of gold. Also proud member of a still-born idea called ATG.Beyond everything the guy encourages me like hell in all my endeavours.
ALso nearly my would -be -roomie.

Now part of the new call boys gang(pun intended). Hope the call center job helps him be what he wants to be.

5) VARUN RAJ MINOCHA is elected as the trendsetter of the class willing to go where no one has dared to go before.
A 'Wolverine' aficionado he is the wannabe synthesiser player.

Sadly my-outgoing roomie.


6)
SANJEEV PANDEY
wins hands-down the class pessimist.No one that I have met till date has disagreed with the title.
Advice for him- Man cheer up and stop crying over trivial things.



7)
PARIKSHIT SINGH CHAILLA
as the class dreamer and the big idea guy. To him goes also the coveted award for intellectualism for having convictions and also the ability to defend them.
He is also a karate green belt won by paying the fees as bribe on the day of the award.
Vital stats- Waist 25"(should be censored as it gives people like me a complex), wt.=58 kg(no one believes the figure)
Conclusion- Only 12% of all girls and 2% of guys in the same age group are thinner than him.

8)
SONALI YADAV is crowned as the present class genius with marks in the realms of fantasy for me and most of the rest. Also she is gets the patience award for handling potter and as potter says, even me. God she's talented.

And she also is a gold medal winning JUDO KARATE black belt. Few know this.
Sakhee is eternally afraid of angering her because of this.Her success secret" finish the entire course b4 the PL's begin". The info is sourced from unknown unreliable sources.

A great stickler for integrity she will go to any lengths to keep her word. Loves dogs especially huge breeds and strays.

9) GARIMA MAHAJAN gets the bravery award for actually gathering enough courage to raise her voice and managing to ask a question once in one and a half years.
She is trying hard though.
One day we will finally again hear her voice.

10)
PALLAVI
CHAURASIA is hereby crowned as the debating queen for always managing to disagree with even the most meekly expressed opinion.

Also always carries an obscene amount of change in that humongously huge wallet of hers. Borrow everyone.
Sonali calls her KUNG-FU Fighter. Sakhi and others second the motion.

Pallavi's reaction--"1) I dnt care" "2) MY FOOT"
Still a wonderful person to talk to.

Of course her journals are a torture. 14 pages long assignments.

Ask me. Had to miss two lectures because of them.


11)
AASTHA SHARMA shares the award with SAKHEE
for the title of choreo queens and she is also CAPTAIN C.C. club( ask Aastha what it means).
Also a trained kathak dancer, she has done many shows.
Also her basketball skills are legendary. The moment she steps across the line we win.
No one knows how she does it!

Proud member of a group called the mag board and she has been kind enough to stay this year too. Am glad for it. Leads in enthusiasm by example.

12)
SAKHEE DHEER also gets the heritage award for actually liking old songs. She also gets a patience award belatedly in recognition of her efforts to bear with potter,24x7 and genius ltd.

She is also an accomplished tai-chi fighter(a jap-red indian martial art). Uses it to scare and scar guys. Will show you a few moves if u trouble her.A prodigal singer she is also an archaelogy and history buff and loves to discuss them. The CAT fighter.

13)
SANTOSH RATHORE
is the ghazal club sec for being the only person i know having a ghazal collection as big as mine(we have a common collection). Also the guy with an excellent sense of humor



He is gonna be my next roomie. I think itz ghazals and shaayri all day. Feel pity for Dharam(pun intended)
My new roomie. We end up enjoying all day long. The fun guy, never afraid to say something to a teacher.

14)
MEGHA
MEHTA gets the nominated as the ex-first lady(hope u get it) .Also she has the height to give XXVI a height complex.
But moving on she wants me to write something about her,so she gets a gallantry award. Let everyone figure this out- for what??
Also thankfully S.E. Comp's lone basketball hope.

Her new look in fifth sem is awesome. With the new hair job, many people simply cant believe its our old megha. Of course she left Orkut, pestered by strangers.
Anyway she also gets the award for being the most professional dozer in the class. Sits perfectly straight and sleeps.
Well this is a habit thats surely gonna help her later.

15)
ARJUN
ANKATHIL gets the crusader award for loosing control at the injustice around him.Also the orkut guy. Has created a S.E. Comp workgroup.

16)
ANURAG CHOPRA
gets the award for the best explanation for the simple DS program with exemplary wits and ofcourse our dear khatta king. ("anyquestionsnonefinemovingonbyebye")
Also according to anurag the ratio of side AB and BC of a triangle is A/C(angle).He actually argued that it was true. Thanks to Tosif for the scoop

17)
PRANEET
gets the award for being the most innocent devil.Also introduced by rathore as Parineeta ka bhai.

Our new C.R., he is gonna be in trouble unless he manages to get us atendance.



18) SALMAN GHULE gets the award for the being the most visible fighter. He even changed his batch for that still unknown person. SAHU comes a close second. Kyonki fighter hi hamesha jeetta hai. Another of the Call boys band( works in a call center) of the class

19)
SAHNI
gets formally christened as dhoni . All hail him.

20)
SHEKU
gets the persistence award in trying his best to escape the lecturers gaze but failing to do so.

21)
SHANKAR
gets the award for the coolest earrings in class. Hey girls please match up. He is one tough competition.

22)
AKSHAY
is the c.r. who never really left Also part of the class debating team


23) DIXIT is the guy happy to organize.

24) Nayab gets to create waves and also studylike hell throughout the year



25) Nagal is the hard to read guy. He believes First Input Waale Hi Output Le jaayenge.

26) Tosif is hereby named as the villian of C batch for doing all prac work before time and setting tough base levels. He is also a gem of a person despite all the insults he has written in the comments.
His first crush was on MARIE CURIE and presently has a crush on one girl of our class that he does not want to name.

27) Sumit is the silent guy.Some also believe the naughtiest.

28) Aakarshak or aku for the ability to laugh at his own khatte . The techie guy for algorithms and C++ is his forte.

29) Brajesh (H.O.D) wins the award for the mad scientist look.


30) Vineet goes blind when he sees a gal. Thank god he is in C batch(jeetu says this)

31) Tyagi is the hidden topper

32) Bloda is the cool haryanvi dhakad chora

33) Thakur from Buxar(bihar).

34) Kartik for being the invisible guy

35) Kartikeyan never tells time to others in practical for he has been in the fire for it.
The NSS sec, the guy is gonna get the campus cleaned up this sem.

36) Rajesh is one wannabe techie guy.

37) Pankaj for finding fun in everything. ALso his marathi skills are excellent.

38) Dudi the pillar of our class who deserted us

39) Chandu ke chacha ne chandu ki chachi ko........ Aage khud samjho .

The guy was once caught reading egr. in the bathroom..

40) Gajendra.P.S.S. our class's gps. he is the ideal student in class till he starts speaking.

41) Durgesh please tell us when it is cold

42) Gajendra P. as the clas HE-MAN.

43) SANJAY Negi for being the chatting freak as he is. has 19 girlfriends and I believe neither he has seen them nor they him.(Jeetu adds tabhi to tiki padi hain)

43) Arun and Ankush for being C.R's of such mettle that we still don't know it. They both make a nice pair.


44) Sanade is the low profile guy. Girls find him cute and he makes it a point to keep as far away from each one as possible.

45) Sahu is proud member of the hated questions group which also includes me,potter and sonali. Also the class debater

46) ASHISH BISHTis the guy with the silent humour. Of course to him this was all meaningless but still.


47) SAMYAL is the class punjab da puttar and the complete sportsperson
48) Pankaj Yadav is the don from Ghazipur. There is only one girl in class he is senti on. Should I name her. Maybe some other time when I update the page

Sunday, January 22, 2006

DEATH, the final truth

DEATH ,THE FINAL TEST OF A PRIDE


Life took it's final chances with death,

Just as the sun drowned in the west,

For as fate played it's deathly game,

Death touched someone close.


Just across town someone grieves,

Just across town someone cries,

For its the living who honour the death,

As those gone live on in the mind.


A beautiful light suddenly estinguished,

A bright future suddenly darkened,

Another notch for the count,

Few will remember today as it was tommorow.


Birth and death; Death and birth

The cycle repeats again and again

For though comfort is scarce tonight,

Time shall fill the empty bowl to the brim

.
The lesson is clear, death is the final test of pride,

And before it vanity has always flopped ,

For no one has ever taken any thing along,

As in this world we come alone, leave alone.

BY- ASHRAF

Death in a way is the ultimate truth of life. It is the reality from which no one can escape. No one is insulated or safe from this awesomely powerful event which turns the persons whole life to dust.

One of the biggest paradoxes of our lives, death as i was once told in my childhood needs no reason or permission but just an excuse. This reasoning stems from a very interesting tale but that is another story in itself.

Some other time maybe.

The above poem was written on the night death touched a very close friend of mine. Its an expression of the inability to do anything, just stand along watching the deadly dance of death. So many years have passed since that night and yet when i think about it i can remember every single detail, every single
emotion and eerily enough even that winter's night cold
wind brushing against my
face.

And yet the living move on. Comfort which was in so short a
quantity that night has come to the affected. And despite all the odds to the contrary each night does end, a new sun does rise everyday
.

Over for now- ASHRAF

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Urdu poetry

Ajab apnaa haal hotaa jo visaal-e-yaar hotaa


ajab apnaa haal hotaa jo visaal-e-yaar hotaa

kabhii jaan sadaqe hotii kabhii dil nisaar hotaa


na mazaa hai dushmanii mein na hai lutf dostii mein

koii Gair Gair hotaa koii yaar yaar hotaa


ye mazaa thaa dillagi kaa ke barabar aag lagatii

na tumhein qaraar hotaa na hamen qaraar hotaa


tere waade par sitamagar abhii aur sabr karate

agar apanii zindagii kaa hamein aitabaar hotaa

As i have already mentioned I am a urdu poetry buff. This is my first posting of an urdu poem or ghazal as it is called traditionally.

Ghazals consist of sher or couplets that are two line each. Each sher makes sense by itself and also as a group.

The above ghazal is by the urdu poet DAAG DEHLVI.

The first two line can be read roughly as " Wonderfully strange would have had been my situation if i could have met my love, Sometimes life would be mortgaged and sometimes the heart would be gifted"

The next sher can be read as " No more fun is left in enmity neither any enjoyment left in friendship, Any stranger would be a stranger and friends would be friends in totality ".

The translation for the third sher or the fifth line would be " The fun of losing hearts is in equal fires in both hearts, None of the lovers can enjoy any peace in each others absence"

The last lines read " On your promise to come ,o torturer, i would have waited more, Only if I was sure of my life to survive some more which i am not"

SIGNING OFF-ASHRAF

JOURNEYS OF THE MIND

JOURNEYS OF THE MIND- an extract from Journeys a 5000 word essay written by the author for a contest
The journey of the mind is the journey of life. There are no reservations, no travel agents, no queues, and no fog delays; othing of the conventional journey. But it is that one single journey that makes or breaks someone. The journey of the mind is the journey to the edge the cliff and back. And if your journey is doomed then over the cliff.
The human mind is a beautiful thing. The abstract concepts of the self are a creation of our mind. States of ecstasy and joy are felt in our mind only. But the mind is itself on a journey of evolution and self discovery. As children our mind knows single emotions only. So the joy that we experience as children is absolute and as children we find joy in the smallest of things. If most of us were to remember hard enough everyone would come up with some now trivial things that gave us joy. In my journeys recently I found myself walking on the most fashionable street in town with a friend. We passed a soap bubbles paraphernalia vendor blowing bubbles on the street. Six or seven children - small kids none over ten were having a gala time trying to touch the bubbles and watching the short lived bubbles magically disappear. You could see from the faces hear from their shouts and laughter that they were having a perfectly joyous moment. They did not remember any other thing at that moment and were enjoying themselves as if nothing else mattered.
This is what we loose on growing up I told my friend and in that time frame we mourned the loss of the wonderful thing called childhood. An unspoken silence of grief filled the distance between. We were two adults walking on the most fashionable street in Pune in trendy attire with sufficiently loaded pockets and yet the kids were far much happier than us. Later when we exchanged notes we knew that as adult’s absolute joy ceased to exist for us. The joy that we now felt was conditional. We thought of that one thing, that one deepest desire that would give us the most joy and we realized that even if we suddenly get it, those kids would still have more joy than us. During such moments life suddenly seems so bland.
The mind is a terrible thing. It determines your day, all your actions. At the edge of the cliff it’s the mind that makes you stumble forward not your feet. At the worst of times it can fill you with grief, for days make your existence a pain filled and a joy less void. I have been to the edge where I thought of suicide and how I survived the times even I don’t know. Looking back now at the very dark times I feel like laughing but back then joy it seemed had been exiled from my existence.
Afterwards when I emerged out of that dark period, I had changed. With joy having returned after many months, I learnt to appreciate joy in subtle things. I also had matured in the way that things that had earlier made me think of suicide would later simply hurt and even that would go after a while.
And during the journey of the mind I experienced a lot more emotions up from the earlier simple ones. It took a lot of time comprehending the mixed emotion. Sometimes love and hatred would mix wrenching my heart apart. At other times sadness would mix with helplessness poisoning my entire existence. Afterwards joy had brave new meanings and I leant to savor solitude.
The journey of the mind never ends. One phase is replaced by another. In my present journey I have graduated from total self discovery to trying to live with negative things like regrets disappointments and banishing other negative emotions wherever possible. The journey of the mind is also the effect of making your self what you want to be. I ceaselessly try to be a better human being ,a better person in my journeys.

TIME, the poem

TIME
Time is the most painful torturer of all,
Each day it attacks the guilt in your heart,
It exposes fresh guilt and you feel the pain,
Each day it reminds you of your mistakes,
You feel the pain and wish you were gone,
The murderer, the thief,the sinners all suffer,
They live in a living hell and the guilt shall go down to their graves.

Time is the most soothing healer of all,
Each day it erodes the guilt deep below,
It erodes until there is no more,
It ultimately frees you.
Each day it coats the guilt until you feel no pain,
The murderer, the thief, the sinners all rest in peace,
Peace shall reign!
BY- ASHRAF

LOVE , LIFE , DESIRES,FUN AND SOME RETROSPECTION-- a day in my life

AFTER THE VICISSITUDES

I think I have to move on again
For another series of changes approach
And after the vicissitudes of life
Who knows where you will reside

I will still haunt the dirty streets,
Searching for you in the crimson light.
Yet you will not be found anywhere
For you made it clear long time back

A dawn which I hoped for,
Has not appeared despite the odds in favour
A dusk which grazed me once,
Is coming back to bruise me all over again.

I have dreamed all day long
Without finding my way around
And now the dream is starting to sour
For reality is just waiting to strike

I wish you good-luck tonight
As I wave you good-bye for the time
Without knowing if we will ever meet again
For I don't know if you will ever return again

Peace be with you, is what I hope
Life be generous, is what I pray
For as you rode into the sun for the last time
I woke from a beautiful dream, half way through
BY-ASHRAF