Love In The Time Of McDonalds
One burger,french-fries and a coke. Ready in two minutes. No waiting. Same quality always. These my friend, are the trends of our times epitomized by what else, just fast food.
Bob Dylan sang a song long time back which dwelled on the theme that “The times they are a changing”.
But a long time has passed since then and to put it simply Bob Dylan needs revision. So let me make an attempt- “The times have changed and hope you have felt them change”. Okay it’s not an exemplary effort but it still is a decent one.
What I want to say is the world has changed so drastically in the last couple of years that all notions of homogeneity of a culture and concepts of a society have become redundant for all practical purposes. And if you think I am blabbering just look around at the trends sweeping our neighbourhood.
Everything has changed. The joint family concept is as extinct as communism and nationalization of industries. Money has strangely enough become more free-flowing and it’s a fad now to spoil oneself.
Modern means of communication have made our lives easier. The lives that we lead may be easier than those of a generation before us but its not all that easy as many people may like to convince themselves. Modern lives have their own fears and their own demons. The demons in a way never die, they just change their faces.
In our modern lives despite all the means to communicate, LONELINESS has assumed epidemic portions. The number of times that we are bored despite everything is simply incomprehensible. Bored in this era of entertainment is in itself a contradiction but that is the sad truth.
And maybe this is why the area that has changed most is the domain of relationships which has ceased to be uniform in any way. A few years ago arranged marriages enjoyed a monopoly and any relationships were looked down. I don’t say love did not exist but it was of a different kind. There were no open confessions nor any long trips to the parks. Love had an existence above words and as a poet put it ,the lovers of yesterday are today parents of different kids. A tragedy maybe but that was another era.
In this modern world where people have increasingly started to search and marry for love, ironically its love itself that has been lost from view. A much abused word; highly commercialized and commoditized, love has been intentionally merged and confused with lust, infatuation and many other emotions.
True love where it is companionship and concern, that matters at least for some time, has few seekers and hardly any finders today. I may be wrong and maybe my ranting is just an extension of an inherent frustration. To love was, and though people have forgotten, still is to care about that particular someone special. But now many times love metamorphoses into acts of stalking and pure harassment. This is not love. It’s a horrible mutation as horrendous as a cancerous tumour ravaging a helpless body.
Personally I feel the fact that relationships have come out of the closet is a positive thing but it’s also true that a lot of once banal things are now acceptable. And this is one of the biggest travesties of change. Where hearts are freely sought, hearts also break like glass. And hearts of stone or hearts of broken glass pain equally bad.
There is just too much of inadvertently caused hurt. In the vicissitudes of the times where a cacophony of voices drown each other out, the individual survives in a lonely and silent dimension. Most search for love as an escape. And maybe it is after all an escape.
Things have become easier with the dawning of acceptability. Its easier to ask someone out and its easier to say yes. But maybe it’s become too easy. People fall in love and fall out. They simply don’t sit back to analyze what went wrong . True love is something everyone talks about but no one knows what it is. Sad ain’t it.
So now comes the time for the critical question- what am I suggesting by all this? Is it merely ranting of a demented mind against something it can’t simply reconcile to. NO, there was a purpose, there is a message.
What I suggest is that instead of letting things happen as the cards fall out, a more proactive approach should be used. If something makes you happy make efforts to maintain it. Ego’s and attitudes should never be a factor. Its not about mutual agreement. Even one willing person can carry a relationship very far. And when someone makes things better for the person he loves, ultimately he fills joy in his own life. Trust me this is true. I myself am the biggest believer of this fact.
The more time we invest in a relationship, the better it becomes. And its applicable to all relationships-whether personal or public. There is always a breaking point in every relationship. It’s best not to play with it.Tough times are the best test of a person’s character. In this age of fast food the truth that time never stops and the fact that one day youth will be gone never to come back should not be forgotten. Time is flying away. An effort should be made to spend it well. Our lives are trivial. It’s the legacy that we leave that actually matters. And treasure what you have today, for tomorrow it just may be history.
Personally I feel the fact that relationships have come out of the closet is a positive thing but it’s also true that a lot of once banal things are now acceptable. And this is one of the biggest travesties of change. Where hearts are freely sought, hearts also break like glass. And hearts of stone or hearts of broken glass pain equally bad.
There is just too much of inadvertently caused hurt. In the vicissitudes of the times where a cacophony of voices drown each other out, the individual survives in a lonely and silent dimension. Most search for love as an escape. And maybe it is after all an escape.
Things have become easier with the dawning of acceptability. Its easier to ask someone out and its easier to say yes. But maybe it’s become too easy. People fall in love and fall out. They simply don’t sit back to analyze what went wrong . True love is something everyone talks about but no one knows what it is. Sad ain’t it.
So now comes the time for the critical question- what am I suggesting by all this? Is it merely ranting of a demented mind against something it can’t simply reconcile to. NO, there was a purpose, there is a message.
What I suggest is that instead of letting things happen as the cards fall out, a more proactive approach should be used. If something makes you happy make efforts to maintain it. Ego’s and attitudes should never be a factor. Its not about mutual agreement. Even one willing person can carry a relationship very far. And when someone makes things better for the person he loves, ultimately he fills joy in his own life. Trust me this is true. I myself am the biggest believer of this fact.
The more time we invest in a relationship, the better it becomes. And its applicable to all relationships-whether personal or public. There is always a breaking point in every relationship. It’s best not to play with it.Tough times are the best test of a person’s character. In this age of fast food the truth that time never stops and the fact that one day youth will be gone never to come back should not be forgotten. Time is flying away. An effort should be made to spend it well. Our lives are trivial. It’s the legacy that we leave that actually matters. And treasure what you have today, for tomorrow it just may be history.
/*This article is a sneak preview of my article in this years srijna( my college magazine) just for my blog readers. Hope you like it. Comments welcome*/
Refil Empty- ASHRAF
3 comments:
I have a co-worker who is from Pune. He is now an intern in this high-tech firm in California. I found your blog totally at random. I enjoyed your comments about love. It is very interesting to hear of the rapid changes occurring in your homeland. The situation you describe has existed all my life here in the U.S. Most Americans curl their lip at the idea of arranged marriage, and yet I see the stability and satisfaction that arises from it as a contrast to the broken hearts and loss of trust -- sometimes loss of ability to love -- that our open society enables. Sometimes, in the proper environment, family knows best. But, evolution will not stop. And evolution, though painful, is always for the better, by definition. Unfortunately, it takes awhile, and there is pain meanwhile. Take care. Always be true, be unafraid to let uncertain temptations pass you by, and you will not cause or suffer from that pain.
"The more time we invest in a relationship, the better it becomes. And its applicable to all relationships-whether personal or public". I totally agree with this. By invest I understand spend time with, love, nurture, respect. One tends to love things what understands be it people, books, art,work, business..etc. However sometimes its quite difficult to understand the difference between love and attachment.
I like this post of urs. =)
You got it right. Time is the biggest and most precious investment possible. As for diff bw love and attachment ,I do have an idea but I will broach it in a new post. However in short love is that feeling when even if things dont work seeing the person u love after decades would still make you go weak in the knees.
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