A year of enslavement :)

So finally a year has passed since I started working. Its been a mixed year. I expected more, got less; I hoped to learn a lot, learnt nothing; I hoped to remain unchanged, I now dont recognize myself in the mirror;I thought I knew myself, now I know the journey of self exporation has just began.

Last year , around this time, I was rich. I was using my parents accounts. Now I am broke. Coz now I burn up my own money.

Anyway now I know the meaning of things I never knew before. I now know I cant really be happy while being employed by someone else. For a short duration I could survive provided I am being paid obscenely high, which again I am not.

Jab agle saal yahi waqt aaa raha hoga,
Kaun jaanta hai kaun kis jagah hoga

Adios

The autopsy of a speech

So I gave a speech last wednesday. This was my project two of the Toastmasters club.As I had procrastinated for nearly five months since my lst project, I had hoped to write a good speech. And I did before the speech think I had managed a pretty decent speech.

The text of the speech is two posts down.

Anyway then my 5 month duration speech was challenged by a guy who had at night written a speech.

I am not a bad orator. I know my strengths. In tostmasters meet , I m regularly the best speaker in the on the spot sessions and was also the best speaker when I gave my speech last time.

When I finished, I listened to the ovation and I thought I had done a pretty good job. Then in the table-topics I was good as usual. And then I could hear the silence within me when the results came in. I lost in both sections. This was something totally unexpected. Of all the meeting I have attended since Jan,this was the first time I had won nothing.

Let me confess,I am a sore loser. If I play a game to win, I hate it when its otherwise. Thats why I dont enjoy ludo. Its too much of luck.

So I tried to be magnaminous in defeat, congratulating the winner but inside there was all turmoil.

There are reasons to bitch about. The winner is choosen by an audience vote and because there was no way to write the names of people I think I lost a few votes in confusion.

But why did I loose in the prepared speech contest? The speech was good, but I didn't make the audience laugh. That ws my fault. The speech was just too serious. However the oppositions speech was also not that great. It was just one long story and some speech.

So I shall come back with a vegenance. I am planning to give project 3 in the next speech to reclaim my honour.

Shall keep you posted.

The way of the TAO

'I choose to enjoy living the great mystery. The Tao that can be named is not the Tao.'

So I have brought this extremely thin book on the 88 verses of Tao. I was just browsing in the campus book-store and I come across this gem of a book. I had free discount coupons at home but I decided not to risk the edition being snatched before I could come back. So I bought it.

And now I am intoxicated after having drunk deep poetry.

'My work when it is done ,is forgotten. That is why it lasts forever.'

The Secret-Toastmasters international project two

Good Evening Toastmaster ,fellow toast masters and honored guests.

It is written in the toastmaster manual that in case of a prepared speech, one must begin by doing something to arouse the curiosity of the audience or they may get bored and not really listen. But I disagree. I would not mind if some of you were to wander off in my speech. Because I am going to tell you a secret. One that all of us know but never acknowledge. And this secret can change your life.

I begin this tale with a story. In early 1940s a daughter was prematurely born as the 20^th of 22 children to a black couple in Tennyssee, USA. Despite the complications, because the couple were black, the local white hospital refused to treat the child. And because the couple were very poor, they could not afford to spend money going to the doctor in the neighboring county. But the child was a born fighter and she survived. However tragedy struck soon when their daughter was diagnosed with polio. “She will never be able to walk”, was what the doctors told her parent. But the mother hoped against hope and took the child for weekly therapy sessions. By the age of ten the child could walk with leg braces. Pretty much like the young Forest Gump in that immortal movie. Then one day the mother returned home to find Wilma playing basketball without the leg braces. Some called it a miracle. I think human will had triumphed.

Why some may ask is this story relevant. It is important as I look around and I find so many people miserable with where they are, unhappy with who they are. They stand convinced that there is something lacking in them and they deserve all the misery. I wonder if they are right?

Let us all look inside. Are there things that make us unhappy, are there things we want to change? And are these the very things that we believe we cannot change ourselves.

Yes, my friends, there are things that we want to do but never get around to doing it because we think its just too big a task for us. We are intimidated by the odds even before we start.

But there is a truth is that we all forget. The secret that we never say out loud. And that truth is that our happiness is in our own hands. Do you believe this? Even if you do not say to yourself, My happiness is in my hands.

What do I mean by happiness is in our own hands. Does it mean we should accept whatever happens to us. Does it mean that even after a particularly bad day in office you don’t have the right to be unhappy. Maybe your code just refused to work. Or you think your efforts are not being appreciated and you got unwarranted criticism. Am I telling you to still be happy?

No, while you have the right to be miserable, I insist that you realize that your happiness is within you. No one else controls your happiness. We have within us to end up where-ever we want to be.

Human will has always had the upper hand. We as humans wonder –“Can I do it?” and frequently fail to convince even ourselves that we can achieve it. I ask all of you, why don’t we ask “Why can’t I do it”. Because I can assure the day we do, we will ourselves realize that all our limits are made by ourselves only. We believe in our limitations and so they exist.

Helen Keller was the first deaf-blind person to earn a Bachelor of Arts degree. She did it because she did not believe in her limitations.

There is a band that I listen to on the web sometimes. The funny thing is that the band consists of only one person who is the singer, the lead guitarist, the sound technician as well as the drummer. Only one person in the band. I think you could all imagine how bad it would sound.

The band is deafboyone and the only member of the band is deaf. Imagine being a musician and not being able to hear. Yet Deafboy one makes wonderful music. The lyrics of one song are “I am standing across the crowded bar. I can see what she wants, But you. You have to shout!”. The deaf singer instead of being unhappy pokes fun at all of us who cannot understand sign language. Because he does not need to hear. He can simply see and understand.That is the power of human will and belief in our innate abilities.

Who are you all after-all? What is your inheritance ,your identity? You all are humans bestowed with free will and intelligence far above animals.

They say man is an ape. But are apes human? All of you must know that chimpanzees our closest relatives can be taught language and how to communicate. But do you know, psychologists have realized that even when a chimpanzee has been taught how to ask for a fruit through signs, he just wont do it. They just don’t get the utility of a language.

And that’s why I say while man may have evolved from monkeys, we are no apes. As humans you are not bound to follow the herd. And those who do ,please, please quit the herd mentality. Stop monkeying around

So how do you go about claiming your happiness. Firstly tell , yourself that only you are responsible for your happiness. They say we let others be responsible for our unhappiness by giving them that power.

Take it back and hold your happiness within yourself.

Secondly believe in your abilities and your strength. You are not another human. You are A HUMAN, capable of splitting the atom and conquering the deepest oceans.

Thirdly think how you can achieve your dreams. Plan and if you think its possible take that step towards achieving them. Not all who set about trying to achieve their dreams succeed, but I assure you all of those who try feel satisfied.

I started with a tale about Wilma, the polio affected black girl in Jim Crow South. Wilma was actually a real person. After having taught herself to walk, Wilma became the local school basketball star.

But her achievements and fame do not stop there. In 1960 Wilma Rudolph became the first American lady to win three gold medals in the Olympics’ track and field events. The girl who was not supposed to walk set a world record and became the fastest runner on this planet.

Over to you MOC Kartick

Justice for Marwa Al Sherbini??

So I learnt about this horrible and tragic incident, about a woman who was murdered in court in front of her three year old son, by a man who she had successfully sued for racially insulting her. Where did this incident happen?? Did it happen in some corner of Saudi-Arabia or Iraq? No , it happened in a court in Dresden in Germany. And did we hear about it? No, we did not. Of the only western media link that I could find about the story was in BBC news.At this moment I must genuinely doubt the media's fairness. When a rabid mullah makes some silly fatwah about the Hijab or some ither thing they will splash it all around. It is implied Muslims must apologize. Its afterall in our name. Who cares if we never gave the permissions? I dont really support or encourage the Hijab. But I beleive the choice must exist. The woman who chooses to wear the hijaab is not inferior to the one who walks in mini's. I can assure you this story will send a chill up your spine? Marwa Sherbini, 31, was stabbed 18 times by Axel W, who is now under arrest in Dresden for suspected murder. Marwa Sherbini, a 32-year-old Egyptian national was suing her attacker after he insulted her for wearing the Islamic headscarf. Sherbini stood in court to give evidence against court appeal before German man took out a knife and stabbed her 18 times. Marwa took her 3-year old son Mostapha to play in a Dresden park. A German man, identified only as Axel W, insulted her because of wearing headscarf and called her a "terrorist". She filed a case against him in German courts after the incident. When she won the case and the court fined him the €780 for having abused her. But German man appealed against the verdict, German media said. Also, her husband and her son were present in the court room. When the assailant attacked Marwa her husband ran to rescue her. But the assailant stabbed him 3 times. Meanwhile, a German security officer in court shot the husband in the leg too. The husband Elwy Okaz lapsed into a coma and was taken to hospital suffering from serious injuries to the stomach and liver. Marwa Sherbini was a star pupil at her Alexandria School, El Nasr Girls' College (EGC), one of the oldest and most prestigious educational establishments for girls in Alexandria. Her personality and academic achievements led to her selection as Head Girl of the school before she joined the Faculty of Pharmacy at Alexandria University, graduating in 2000 with flying colors. After she got married to Elwy Okaz, a researcher at the Max Planck Institute, she moved with him to Germany. HATE-CRIME IGNORED:- German officials did not acknowleged about bloody event which is taken in front of the 3 year old son's eyes during 24 hours and did not informed Marva's family or Egyptian embassy.. A German official described the incidence as individual and that it was driven out of the so called "feelings of extreme xenophobia." So, now when a German guy stabs a pregnant Egyptian woman eighteen times, he is called "sick," but if an Arab or Muslim does the same with a European or American person, he will be called 'terrorist.' Also, the media reported that German officials put the son of Sherbinis, Mostafa in an orphanage, rejecting to hand him over Egyptian embassy for send him to family members. According to father of MArwa who spoked to an Egyptian TV, they learned the killing from a family friend after on a phone conversation after 24 hours. "My daughter was pregnant in her third month," the heartbroken mother told Egypt's Al-Masri Al-Youm daily on Sunday, July 5. "I never imagined she would be a victim of terrorism and we would see her pictures in the media." MY MUSINGS:- I wonder first of all, why is there not a commotion in the media. How is this incident so underreported. Why no New York Times or a Washington Post article. After all this lady was fighting for her rights peacefully. Secondly, why is there no enquiry how this happened. How the hell did the murderer stab 18 times a pregnant woman in court and no one intervened. And why the hell was her husband shot by the police officer. This incident is not a one off incident. Its an example of increasing Islamophobia in the world. Many people see a media bias. I refuse to beleive. But this incident makes me question. Obama's new dog got a 1000 times more coverage than the death of this lady. May her soul rest in peace. And I hope someone fights her fight.

The season started-- Last sunday

CAT 2009, I am coming. So beware all you competitors, for from the ashes rises a phoenix.

:) So my CAT prep starts. nearly five months. Enough time, I think.

Anyway I gave my first mock cat after nearly 8 months and as expected got bashed to a pulp. In the free AIMCAT got 13 marks in DI, 71 in verbal and 15 in quant. Did not clear two cut-offs. The good part was verbal. My blade is still not broken. According to time coaching out of the the 34053 people all India who took the test my rank was 40th. :) I am inconsistently consistent .

The same was 13000 and 15000 in the other two.

Its a long way to the top. But I have tasted blood and I am coming