Its still embarrassing

3 days later it still sucks

Shit Happens

Oh yes, it most definitely does 

And I do it

I just made a fool of myself on a stupid zoom call. Zoom , i now officially hate you. I am so emabarassed that i need to vent here. WTF

In any case, I must acknowledge that over a period of time we will make a fool of ourselves .

a. In class 12th the way I got swayed with the physics prac means i cannot go back to BHS easily

b. In Infosys i emailed 15000 ppl inadvertently

c.  Now this zoom call

So every 10 years , shit happens. Looking forward to an error free next 9 years

Recession

I think no one would approve of people getting drunk and creating a scene anywhere. If they get too drunk the law should punish them. But yes, people should be able to choose to be able to go to a pub either for a drink or even a mocktail.

Tragically politicians in India as a breed will stoop to the lowest possible levels. Them preaching morality is like a mockery of the entire population. With Lok Sabha elections coming close by we will see a lot more such drama in the coming month. And no political part is above playing it dirty. It has generally being felt that the MNS was given a lot of space by the Maharashtra CM as another party on the Marathi issue would divide the Marathi vote and help a congress victory. What will happen will be seen, but I won’t be surprised if the MNS makes big inroads into the Shiv-Sena bastions in the state.

What should be debated on a national level and which we don’t, is what such a development will bode for the nation. A US president (not Bush definitelyJ)at the end of his term said "I hope history will judge me and say he appealed to the best and noblest qualities in people rather than their dark and sinister traits".

I wonder which Indian politician can say and hope for the same! The one who has never fought an election ,maybe!

From: Balaji Shenoy Posted At: Friday, January 30, 2009 11:12 AM Posted To: MYS General Conversation: In lines with the communist party Subject: Have we solved ALL other problems?

Very well said Syed.

I wanted to write about this subject myself in the BB, but don’t think I could have put it any better than you have.

I certainly don’t approve of someone emerging out of a pub (or even a local liquor shop) and misbehaving with the general public. Certainly such behaviour antagonizes the people who live around such establishments and I can understand them protesting. But even then, there are already laws to deal with such problems (even if the implementation is very iffy). If however someone goes into a pub, has a drink or two and goes back home without creating a nuisance to anyone, then I don’t see why it should be a cause of problem for anybody.

And isnt’t funny to see the current lot of politicians (of all people) sermonizing the rest of the society on “morality”? The very same people who don’t blink an eyelid before endorsing criminals and people with a dubious past for a seat in the state or central assembly.

And its as if, they don’t have anything else to worry about – if they had completely sorted out issues related to security, economy, general social well being (improved infrastructure and public transportation, introducing efficiency in public health care centre’s, providing safe water to drink for all, sanitation, housing and education for those who cant afford them, creating awareness about global warming and the energy crisis that the world is facing, the need to conserve power and electricity, conservation of forest and wildlife) etal, then I would have been OK with them initiating discussion and debate on our changing social and cultural mores. Even then, it should just start as a debate and discussion, and not by thrusting your opinion on people by vandalising public spaces or trashing up people.

Thanks and Regards,

Balaji Shenoy

From: Syed Ashraf Husain Posted At: Friday, January 30, 2009 10:40 AM Posted To: MYS General Conversation: In lines with the communist party Subject: RE: In lines with the communist party

I am not sure how many of you read the Delhi Chief ministers comment on pubs. Its on the first page of today's Times Of India. She says "I believe youngsters who go to these places without the knowledge of their parents are mature enough to handle themselves". I may not have written the exact words but it was close to this.(Also could someone post todays wonderful TOI editorial on the same)

The Delhi CM comments are a refreshing wise opinion by a political leader on a topic that seemingly has raised the hackles of so many and enthused so many others. When Dijvijay Singh condemns pub culture he plays to a very conservative audience. But the question is do we really need social policing?

Also people have got the issue wrong. Its not about alcohol. Its about men and women mixing. And specifically women drinking. Because there is no mention of bars or all those sleazy shops selling alcohol by the roadside. Tomorrow there could be a demand of seperate colleges for guys and girls and seperate offices in the IT industry. The whole idea of saving the culture smacks of chauvinism.

Let me confess that I dont drink. But I have been to pubs and they are not the dens of vices and immorality that they are made to be. In fact people probably get more drunk in the all male local bar than in a pub. Pubs are a decent place to hang out with friends and simply chat. As is a restaurant.

As for culture let me assure it changes. We just need to look at India in the last hundred years. At the beginning of the century going abroad or marrying out of caste was reason good enough to be ostracised from society. Read the Birla family history and you will realize it was widespread.

Fifty years down the line it was still felt the ladies place was in the house. 25 years back most marriages used to be arranged by the family and bride and groom used to first see each other after the wedding. I haven't heard of one such wedding in a long long time. Of course it still continues in many places but my point is the trends change.

Culture is fluid and it transforms itself depending upon the person. On the other hand values last. If someone was to define Indian values and try to bring about an awakening of them through a peaceful movement ,he would probably have my support.

But sorry no cultural policing in my name.

The Memories of My Past

 

I started this blog nearly 15 years ago. To be honest, I was active initially and then the enthusiasm waned. I have never been back for years.

When I look back, the same thin happened with blogs. Blogging was the coolest thing in 2005. In 2020, its all social media site- fb, ig or twitter. I went to fb and the decay of blogging corresponds to the same period but now I  have been off fb for years.Writing was always an escape and if I am coming back its because, I need an escape.

Too much has happened in the years. Even as I sit back and think I will blog again, I wonder if its pure nostalgia. There are so many old comments on the blog. 

I will be back  but this is now a private diary. I am pretty sure no one wanders here during this season of eternal drought.

~Ashraf

I am back

Yes,  I am back with a new resolve to blog regularly. The last couple of years,  initially had me focussing inwards to look at and then I hit a writers block.

However somewhere I had diverted from the path of creativity. Being fully employed did not help. Somehow a stable income tends to kill my creative expressions.  It however also makes me super unhappy and miserable. Writing after all as I say is an escape

So I am back.  New phone and all.  Trying to make a sense of it all.

No one wanders here I know.  But when did I say I wanted thousands here.

Tell Series , Natie Krish my thought

I was watching this video

http://vimeo.com/26291835

This was interesting because Natie Krish is a billionaire who lost nearly everything and then got it all back.

Here are the key points from my perspective

a) Fight for things you believe in

b) Look at the bigger picture

c) Inflation will not go away and that's why invest in real estate. Don't worry about it, recognize it

d) I see opportunities where others may not. It may be an instinct

e) Look at businesses that have a recurring cash flow. So choose a supermarket or a life insurance company as opposed to a construction company.

f) There are a lot of things I would have done differently. But then does it matter. I could still have been in SA

g) Avoid public companies. Keep em private

h) There are no supply chains in China for small companies

i) Communism has disappeared from china. Being richer is good now.

j) You have to be the leader wherever you enter. HOW- you do it better, you do it differently

A long break and news

So I was in Hong Kong two weeks and I had a rocking time.

KICC has been one long journey and I so wish it had not ended. There was always so much to do. :(

But it ends and while at times it hurts that we didn't win at the international finals, I realize it was an incredible experience to go all the way to HK. We defeated all the teams in India and that was achievement enough.

I now have wonderful memories from HK and friends in so many countries. I will talk more of it later. Right now just want to get it out of my system.

I Do Not

I do not see, 

what others see,

In shallow depths and vain facades,

But only seek to see,

How the smallest of cogs fit into

this miracle of an existence

I do not hear, 

what others hear,

When shouts ring out in the silence

But only strain to hear,

The sounds of the individual lost,

In the crowds at the retreat

I do not smell,

what others smell,

The odours of our daily existence,

But only savour the smell,

Of people and flowers,

Of a different reality.

I do not feel,

what others feel,

As they stumble on in life,

But only seek to feel,

The sand papered reality,

That my mind creates.

I do not taste,

what others taste,

As they walk through this world,

But only try to taste,

The bitter flavour of emotions,

Crushed under people’s feet.

By Syed Ashraf Husain

PS - another of the poems I have started writing searching for a deeper meaning

The Great Argument

PS- This is an entry for a creative writing contest at a premier institute's festival. 1.5 hours , 1000 words flat. Every thing here is imaginary and any resemblances are purely coincidental. Unless of course, you know better.

Enjoyed penning the  story . Maybe I should do more of storytelling.

“It’s over !“ she shouted over the phone.

Taken aback by the fury , I could only mutter, “What , why? Everything was fine in the morning.”

“Don’t pretend you don’t know anything. I know from your posts on facebook. Its over.”

And then before I could reply back I heard the sound of the call being cut. Pleading with a terminated line was not high on my list of hobbies, so I gave her a call back. And then once more and then more after that but she had switched off her phone. She was suddenly unreachable in every meaning of the word and I had to step back to analyze it all.

 _________________________________________________________________________________________________

The first call was of course to Varun, my alter ego.

As his phone rang 1200 km away for a moment I wished he was closer. Then my thoughts got pushed out as his voice rang out loud over the phone.

“Hellos,dude can I call you back. Kind of stuck in a conference call”.

“Dost, it’s an emergency. She broke off.”

“Whaaat!! She did what.  thought you two were made for each other and never fought. Wait, guess I will have to cut short my other call. Hold on”

As he turned his attention to the client call trying to terminate it, I had a few moments to myself over the broken conversations I was hearing from Varun’s side. It seemed a little sudden. I had been introduced to her around six months back and even as I was shaking her hand , I knew I was falling for her.  The wooing began almost immediately. I smiled through stuff, tried to be a little less me and a little more her and it seemed she was doing  perfect job of pretending I did not exist. Varun and I would be forever exchanging notes, two bumbling fools trying to walk a path they both were utterly incapable of.

In the end , desperate times needed desperate measures. It all appeared to be going nowhere and one day I called Varun and said ,it’s time. I was gonna ask her to dinner.

“Are you sure. I think you will get your heart broken.”, he gently suggested.

“I gotta know man. Can’t be hurt more. If she says no, you know me what I will be doing”

“Jumping off a roof?”

“Bast!@#, I will be writing sad sad poetry. And fools who know nothing will appreciate it for the talent never knowing it was her not me who gets credit for the poetry.”

“You know Saleem Sinai, the reason we are good friends is coz you never fail to find something to laugh about. And what if she says yes ”

“I don’t really want to imagine stuff but I guess it will be the start of a story of the stuff that fairy tales are made of.”

“Ahh you ,the eternal romantic at heart” came his mocking reply.

“That’s me.”

I took three days to gather the courage to call her. It was funny how I, who could effortlessly chat with strangers was mortified with fear at the prospect of calling her. Once I thought I had the courage, I called. My heart was pounding as the phone rang. All for nothing as I later mused for the call rang out before disconnecting.

But the dice was cast and now I needed to persevere. I waited and the next time the phone was out of network coverage area.

The third time was almost mechanical. There was no adrenalin rush or a pounding heart. And then I heard her voice- “Hi”. All the gathered courage vanished like the dew before the midday sun. I was suddenly all alone and terrified. But I whimpered something out and just got ‘Dinner with me?’ out to her somehow.

There was that pause and I was already imagining the polite refusal. If there was ever a chance of her saying yes, my riveting performance on the phone had killed it definitely.

But instead of the no ,”Yup, when” came over the phone. I wanted to shout in joy but I meekly gave her a location and time.  The time for the shouts would be later.

With that dinner began a new adventure. From that dinner , we kind of slid into dating without ever loudly acknowledging it. There were dinners, adventure trips, concerts and hours hanging out. The formality vanished and it had been perfect. Then why…

___________________________________________________________________________________________________ 

But the thoughts were interrupted as Varun came back on the phone and said,”Saale ,what did you do?”

“Nothing. But she said something about facebook.”, I replied back.

“Idiot, facebook today morning on her wall. I had asked you to stop messing on facebook.”

“But it was all harmless!!”

“Go back and see how she took it.”

And then started the painful journey of going back to a day of rambling on facebook. It had just been me and Varun commenting on her status. I was reading bottom down.

“Single is independence. Freedom and free will” , was my last comment on her status. Suddenly the harmless joke seemed pretty sour.

“Doubles is over rated and over hyped”, Varun had posted.

“Doubles is a flavor of its own. Gotta try it once” , was me earlier.

“How do you like your pizzas and friends- singles or doubles”, Varun again.

“I like winning for the trophies”, I had joked

“I have a hot date and I hate the whole setup”, was Varun alluding to his life

“Truth only ok.”, I had asked Varun

“I really like you and all your ‘special’ friends man. You are all so  awesome”, Varun had intoned.

“I just want a pizza and world peace”, was my first piece.

So this  was the whole argument. I had tapped into her insecurities and somehow tripped on a landmine.

Then I just looked at her status that started it all.

‘ i ’.One character in small was all she had posted.

The Great Argument.

The Answer-Vignette by Ashraf

PS Too much of poetry, non fiction and broken prose. Presenting my first short story. It's a small cog of something bigger

In old age the demons would return to haunt her. When the vigour and strength was gone and she was alone in her room at night she would start believing in all that was not there.

Her first daughter gone for seven years now would play on her mind. She had married her love and knowing there would never be societal acceptance of her marriage had left India for Spain. The mother bound by societal norms and a slave in her own way to others could never accept her son-in-law and disowned her daughter. She could have gained a son but she lost a daughter in the end. The daughter had cried, cajoled and did everything to get her mother to give her blessings as she was her only parent. In the end she had softly screamed, “I never cared about your society but if you won’t bless us, I will accept that job in Spain”. In the first year after her marriage and subsequent migration to Spain there had been calls and conciliatory letters but with the cold response they all stopped. For five and a half years now there had been no contact. The daughter was as good as dead.

But the conscience of the mother was troubling her and now at night when she could not even garner the strength to get up and relieve herself, she would call out to her the daughter long gone. When there would be no answer anger would well up in her heart and then suddenly she would remember her deeds. But then she could not remember her second daughter’s name and she would lie there guessing all possible names failing to remember the name she had choosen for her younger daughter , a score plus years back. Hours later she would remember the name and call the second daughter who would immediately come and help her.

This happened not one night but was a scene that would play out night after night in the same sequence until the mother was convinced a Djinn was in the house. But one night when she called her daughter’s name there was a reply and she in retrospect realized it had been her daughter who had answered her call. Next day she would announce the death of her daughter. But the daughter had done her duty by warning her mother. There was a prophecy fulfilled when the mother answered but the prophecy is another story. That story is about me. This is about the mother.

The Answer

I have not described what happened on the night of Shabraat. The night when Islamic traditions state that the souls of the dead come back to this world to look at what they left behind. That's also when the call of the ill mother was answered. That night when the old mother had called her daughter for the 40th or 50th time there came a reply ,’Yes, mother you called.’ Still believing her daughter was there she replied, ‘Huma , I want to go to the toilet-help me get up’. And in the room would walk in her daughter all in white. Believing her eyesight was fooling her in the dark she said –‘O daughter look what old age has done to me. Now I can’t even see you clearly.’ You are all white and faint to me. But now the apparition seemingly stood there and in a voice that seemed to emnate from every corner of the house said, ‘Mother , leave get far far away from here.’ ‘This and much of the city is going to burn in the fire of human hatred in time to come.

Warn only the first person you meet on the street and get out of here.’ 

And then perhaps like a mirage it all vanished and the old lady blinked her eyes to find there was nothing in the room and it was all normal. It could perhaps be nothing more than a dream except for one small thing- when she opened her eyes she was sitting on the chair near her bed. For the past few months at night she could not get up without help. How had she moved to the chair? 

Next day she resigned from the job where she had long become inept, packed everything possible in a short time and moved with her immediate family to a sister’s house in Bombay because of the warning. She did not doubt for the night the daughter answered, her ailment had also vanished and she was again an old but fit lady.

Months later enquiry in Spain would reveal he daughter and son-in law had died five years back in a road accident. The information got lost because the daughter had put her husband as next of kin and he himself had no family.

Oh and if I didn’t mention, the mother met me on the street next day.

I am not fascinated

I am not fascinated
by big names and lofty titles and
long runs after things that are illusionary.
But to fascinate me
tell me your heart’s desires
and where do you yourself want to be .

I am not fascinated
by yatches, watches , gadgets and
all the one thousand one glittery things around.
But to fascinate me
tell me how you looked inside
and realized that not every jewel you desire .

I am not fascinated
by drunk nights, hungover mornings and
the new names for the ancient drinks.
But to fascinate me
tell me about deep thoughts in high moments
and what you still remembered the morning after .

I am not fascinated
by beauty , fashion, and
all other things that will be gone tomorrow.
But to fascinate me
tell me did the beauty also have a heart
and were the depths of her intellect really deep.

I am not fascinated
by shamans , mystics and
the one hundred one teachers for hire.
But to fascinate me
tell me was the mystic's jounrney just for himself
and all guidance to others a freely given gift .

I am not fascinated
by your conquest of weaker souls and
all the rest that is external to you.
But to fascinate me
tell me did you conquer you own soul
and finally leave your ego by the roadside .

I am not fascinated
by who did you love and
who did you betray.
But to fascinate me
tell me of the pain when the beloved left
and silence that you heard in the beloved’s absence .

I am not fascinated
by tales of crushes, fantasies and
a dozen shades of lust.
But to fascinate me
tell me did you really love the beloved
and was that love pure enough to be called love.

Syed Ashraf Husain ' दाग़ ' ' ڈاگ ' 

P.S. Sometimes I cant write poetry for days and sometimes I finish a whole poem in 30 minutes flat. Its always how heavy the heart is.

Reading List 3rd-7th Nov

First of all Eid Mubarak everyone. I hope you have a great time. Am at Delhi away from it all but theek hai. Parents are on Hajj and mashaallah it is going on well.
So my reading list for the last couple of days
(a) MUST READ- an article exploring both the assembly line and the issues at Maruti’s Manesar plant which has been rocked by violence and unrest. http://www.thehindu.com/news/national/article2601780.ece?homepage=true#.TrX_9FaaRsk.facebook . I am reminded of Charlie Chaplin’s Modern Times by this paragraph in the article. For a worker, line acceleration can be a harrowing experience. “When I first began working for Maruti, assembly lines used to run right through my dreams,” said a worker with a laugh, “These days I suppose I'm so tired that I don't get dreams anymore.”
(b) For a change just view these pics http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2011/10/text_copy_block_goes_here.html Some of the pics are so moving. The wasted childhood of the innocent refugees from Afghanistan.(1st, 7th, 17th) The mud caked bodies of the child labourers in the brick facility in Pakistan (5th) .  The Syrian children playing is joyous and the 10th pic from Libya is ambiguous . I cannot be sure if the lady is sad or happy. Her eyes seem so deep and moist. Then the 29th pic is totally exhilirating for it’s the vulnerable kids doing maths( can read the sums). And I realize why I must search for the sublime in life as the obvious can never hold my attention for long.
(c) Good read- In this moving article one of the three American hikers captured by Iran explains why solitary confinement is also torture. http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/06/opinion/sunday/in-an-iranian-prison-tortured-by-solitude.html?_r=1
(d) Mildly Interesting http://mashable.com/2011/11/06/justin-bieber-infographic/ Justin Bieber success analyzed
(e) Against all Odds. Story of a woman Egyptian entrepreneur http://dealbook.nytimes.com/2011/11/02/egyptian-entrepreneur-shares-lessons-from-her-playbook/
(f) A pretty good blog with translations of Urdu poetry http://siyaah.blogspot.com/ Must read for poetry fans
(g) Just loved this qawwali sung by Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan. The lyrics are so beautiful and I identify with them. Lyrics here http://nusratqawalies.blogspot.com/2011/01/barsoon-kay-intizar-ka-waiting-for.html and the qawwali on youtube here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JPb_Dw-N3E. Two of my fav lines from the Qawwali are
1) “Allah, zindagi say kahan tak nibhaoon main,
Kis bewafa kay saath mera naam likh diya”
Allah, how long do I remain faithful to life,
That(life) faithless person whom you have tied to my name
2) “Bikhri padee thee toot kay kaliyaan zameen par,
Tarteeb day kay maine tera naam likh diya”
Tarteeb=give form, organize
"Flower buds were scattered around on the ground,
I gave them shape and wrote your name"

Reading List Nov 1st-2nd

So my reading list series of posts stumbles but continues-
(A) MUST Read- An analysis of the new Middle East. Its important as the world has changed. Mubarak is gone and so is Gaddafi. What will be the new governments be like. In Tunisia a religious leaning but democracy supporting party has come to power. It may scare people especially in the west that the Islamists are coming to power but it may instead be the best thing that ever happened. The Middle East countries have few bogey men and these governments will be judged on their own merits.  Crescent Moon, Waning West( The Economist) http://www.economist.com/node/21534782

(B) The income in equality debate at NYTimes where collumnist David Brooks insists there is a top 1% inequality and then a college vs non college educated inequality. The original article is here http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/01/opinion/brooks-the-wrong-inequality.html?pagewanted=all . A retort in The Economist is here http://www.economist.com/blogs/democracyinamerica/2011/11/inequalities and Paul Krugmans analysis is here http://krugman.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/11/01/graduates-versus-oligarchs/
(C) Interesting read on Chaebol in South Korea. Also contrasted to Japan (Olympus’s 36% fee for MnA led me here) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chaebol
(D) Toyota Unveils machines to help the sick and old moon( If you have been following the upcoming greying of Japan you would understand) http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/tech/hardware/toyota-unveils-machines-to-help-sick-elderly-move/articleshow/10565048.cms
(E) Some amazing CV for designers http://inspirationfeed.com/inspiration/30-amazingly-creative-examples-of-designer-resumes/
(F) Gaddafi’s legacy at the New Yorker http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2011/11/07/111107fa_fact_anderson
(G) Ad agencies face talent crunch for online advertising http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/31/business/media/ad-companies-face-a-widening-talent-gap.html?src=me&ref=general
(H) Airlines cutting boarding time or at least trying to (Classic operations case) http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/01/business/airlines-are-trying-to-cut-boarding-times-on-planes.html?hp

Daily Reading List

Some time back in a workshop the instructor asked me how did I know so much in depth about a topic. I replied with the truth-“I read”. Of course everyone had a laugh and I also smiled but I was stating the truth. I am not super bright or super intelligent. I just read a bit more than the average Joe.

Anyways sometimes I share the best of what I read, through status’s on facebook but I don’t want to cloud my updates with a stream of articles each and everyday.
So I am going to chronicle my best daily reads in a post everyday. Anyone who is interested can look it up but more importantly I can reference it at my ease too. Bookmarking is just not efficient enough I browse hundreds of pages everyday. I will only list what is worth sharing. I hope you enjoy it too.

(a) Anyways the must read article of the day is this eulogy of Steve Jobs delivered by his sister. It’s a wonderfully wriiten artcile and I just find this line so tragically true. “
‎"We all — in the end — die in medias res. In the middle of a story. Of many stories."
” http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/30/opinion/mona-simpsons-eulogy-for-steve-jobs.html?pagewanted=all&src=ISMR_AP_LO_MST_FB.

(b) As the US withdrawal from Afghanistan and Iraq nears , I have to think a lot. Afterall 10 years ago I was a teenager and in a way I have been a child of the great war years. I felt the pain of 9-11. I cheered the Afghanistan invasion, pretty happy to see the Taliban whom I anyway hated go and in a way thought there was need for dismantling the terrorist infrastructure. And one and a half years later  I opposed the Iraq war tooth and nail being convinced there was no cause for war. Wrote essays  And when no WMDs came and people expressed surprise , I could not help but say told you say. Infact I still remember watching Rumsfields testimony in the UN live on BBC as he scared everyone with a vial in his hand.’This amount he stated is enough to kill anyone’. I had to judge if the evidence was convincing and I thought it was all one side of the story.
However my biggest concern today is the women in Afghanistan. One of the reasons I supported the US war in Afghanistan because the Taliban with their repression of women simply angered me no end. That is not Islam or even basic human decency. What will happen to those gains as the US leaves? Will Afghanistan face another decade of degradation. And the guilty party is the cold war.
Have over the years followed RWA(Revolutionary Women of Afghanistan) organization whose volunteers have risked everything to educate girls.

(Must read about how cynically the women of Afghanistan have been exploited) http://msmagazine.com/blog/blog/2011/10/06/pawns-of-war-and-peace-what-does-the-future-hold-for-afghan-women/

(Good read- USAID and women in Afghanistan) http://msmagazine.com/blog/blog/2011/03/22/dear-usaid-afghan-women-arent-pet-rocks/

(Good read- interview with an Afghani woman heading NGO) http://msmagazine.com/blog/blog/2011/10/25/peace-unveiled-an-interview-with-afghan-womens-rights-activist-hasina-safi/

(c) Poetry and politics a nice perspective http://www.ontheissuesmagazine.com/2011fall/2011fall_browning.php

(d) Quotes of Arundhati Roy ( admire her courage, not necessarily share her viewpoints)
http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/6134.Arundhati_Roy
A good one of the bunch“D’you know what happens when you hurt people?’ Ammu said. ‘When you hurt people, they begin to love you less. That’s what careless words do. They make people love you a little less.”
― Arundhati Roy, The God of Small Things

(e) Another urdu poetry site. Very regularly updated. http://faysalspoetry.blogspot.com/

(f) The story of a reformed neo-nazi or a skinhead. Its very intense and personal. Recommended read. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/10/31/reformed-skinhead-removes_n_1067431.html?ref=impact&ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009

Time to Reinvent Myself

My blog has always been a lot about self introspection and while I have not blogged enough recently for various factors, I feel the time is coming soon. As an update some stuff happened recently that has made me think deep and hard.

Firstly the first semester of MBA is nearly over, and MBA right now seems the most overrated thing I have ever done. The trouble is I feel I haven't learnt enough that I could and this hurts as the importance of MBA for me lies in its learning opportunities. Its like being stuck in a marsh while solid ground seems just across the water. So I have been indulging in all sorts of trivial things without heading in the right direction.

Indeed I laughed the other day wondering loudly to this statement ,'And I used to think engineering was the biggest mistake of my life'. Of course I plan to change this next sem but still.

Secondly I went through the summer placement process where some of the companies I wanted to be at did not even shortlist my resume. Funnily enough in the end I got to a company which is part of a media group that I was really curious about . Its a finance profile and I get to explore how deep my interests lie in the media world. I find it funny how I ended up in a place my heart wanted but would not have waited for and part of me now believes in fate. 

Thirdly , an event happened in my life that makes my heart skip a beat and I walk with a jump in each step. The event was inspiring enough to demolish the writers block I was suffering from and  I now write prose and poetry again. But its all very fluid and I have to wonder if I am hallucianting for I go low when the day seems blue. And its just a gaze that can make or mar my day. While i believe in fate and 'The Secret' now( more later), the question is am I ready for things not working out? I wont even consider the possibility at times. And in the end I dont think I can ever be prepared  but I must think about this.

Summing it up, I need to think of my MBA, the summer placement, the analysis of failure and what goes in my life. In short now is a wonderful opportunity to reinvent myself. And that is what I am going to do. Below is a picture of me nearly four years ago. Its a different  me I realize and I want to again reinvent myself over the next 3-4 months. So that I again look in the mirror and see a stranger.

Also let me acknowledge publicly and also confess that I used to think of myself as  a genius and very smart and intelligent. However I have come to realize, I am an idiot of the first order and very naive. I have mishandled enough situations over the last 4 months to be given an Ignoble award or a Darwin prize. 

Just the way you are

So this song is my latest muse. Simply love the  lyrics  where the song goes like I love everything about coz she is perfect

"Her eyes, her eyes
make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair
falls perfectly without her trying
She's so beautiful
And I tell her everyday (yeahh)

I know, I know
When I compliment her she won't believe me
And it's so, it's so
Sad to think that she don't see what I see
But everytime she asks me "Do I look okay?"
I say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
'Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile
The whole world stops and stares for a while
'Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

Her lips, her lips
I could kiss them all day if she'd let me
Her laugh, her laugh
she hates but I think it's so sexy
She's so beautiful
And I tell her everyday
Oh you know, you know, you know
I'd never ask you to change
If perfect's what you're searching for
Then just stay the same
So don't even bother asking if you look okay
'Cause you know I'll say
When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
'Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile
The whole world stops and stares for a while
'Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are
The way you are
The way you are
Girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are "

http://youtu.be/LjhCEhWiKXk

What crosses my mind

For the last 1.5 years or so I have blogged very litte but rather preferred to note down my thoughts on a file. I earlier had that file on myhard disc but it has now moved to google docs. The file is named 'The time is running out.doc'. Behind this strange sounding name is a very simple reason. I created a new file during my second year of engineering and after I wrote some sentences ,on saving it Microsoft word automatically save the file with the first sentence. Hence, 'the time is running out.doc'.

I am talking about this file for a reason. Its linked to my need to express and by extension to my ebbing and rising desires to tell a story to the world. When I want to express I use the blog but the story is being written in bits and pieces on the file. So as I wanted to formalize my blog to a custom domain, I wrote more on the file and planned to buy a custom domain. Infact down the line I bought a domain but I suddenly wanted to write a bit more. And so the domain remains untouched while I muse on.

However there has been great progress on the file front. After having been very inactive for a long long time, I gathered great speed and have finished ten thousand words. Now if you were to take into  consideration that these are basically disjointed points and paragraphs to be used as the mould for larger enterprises, you end up with 50k words . And that is half a novel or so.

Of course there is a reason why I write again, why poetry flows from my pen err keyboard so regularly and why my heart at times a bit faster at times. That however is another story

The Edge

I shall walk to the edge of the cliff,
Muse and stare deep into the chasm,
And maybe for the first time I will shout out loud,
In the darkness that rises from the abyss,
Your name and the songs of your beauty.

The pilgrim cannot walk forever through the desert,
The wanderer will sometimes come back to a familiar place,
Sounds of glee ripple in deserted buildings too,
And as the same story repeats through all of history,
The ill in love sometimes shout the beloveds name.

As I travel through a city of strangers,
Of closed doors and windows with dark shades,
In the silence and desolation of the abyss,
I will shout out your name in the wilderness,
Again and again like a madman incarnate,
And maybe the sounds will drag away with them,
All my emotions and the intoxication of your name.

For all of humanity it’s the curse of Adam and Eve,
For as they were banished from the gardens of heaven,
It seemed God also sent along his wrath till the end of time,
A hundred emotions of joy but a thousand flavours of misery,
And even today when a man wakes up drowning in the blues,
Its the curse of Adam and Eve coursing through his every breath

As I stare into the abyss of dark emotions,
And as the abyss stares back at me,
Maybe for once I could see eye to eye ,
With twisted fate and the paradox of desire’s,
And the poet in me could just laugh and laugh,
At the vagaries of time.

By Ace
PS- I wrote this poetry sometime back inspired by the darkness of a dark dark day. I experimented with an alternating style where stanza's alternate between a macro and micro picture. Example the first stanza is about me but the next one talks in general of philosophy

Something about her

Another Haiku :P

"Its something about her,
Magical, mysterious, beautiful, elegant and heavenly,
That Every time I see her , I fall for her again."

Postscript- Its the tragedy of our lives being unable to see the woods for the trees. Of feeling lonely in a crowd. But thats us!!