I would simply never have walked

It’s a phase of solitude,

A season of setting suns,

Drenching rains ,

Cold mornings,

Sweaty afternoons,

Reminding me each moment of the futility,

Of things, people, actions and rewards



The emptiness around me that haunts me,

While I miss you in ways small and big,

And as my loneliness caresses me in a crowd,

I feel a void inside that seems to be endless.



It’s funny how long I have survived,

In this desert without water,

Like a swimmer who lost sight of land,

With water the nourisher being the final,

Destroyer.



Now,

In this season of forced smiles and artificial grace,

That I look back and wonder,

How long I have survived.



When I started on the long trudge,

Had I known the then unwritten play,

My journey would be so lonely,

And I would hope of love,

Yet never close to drowning the emptiness,

Or filling up the yawning hole,

I would simply never have walked.