The future is still unwritten

The future is still unwritten and I am writing it now.

The last couple of days I have been thinking a lot about my future, where I want to be, what I want to be. The choices are flummoxing but I have to evaluate each and every one of them. The way I see it,the time for procrastination and inaction is drawing to a close. The era of dragons is dawning.Mysore has been a decent place. But its time to move on.

After having worked in the IT sector for 10 months, I know what I had seen was a mirage. I dont see a long term career for myself here. Its just not satisfying wasting entire weeks worrying over pieces of inconsequential code. My code failure will not kill.It might have a financial cost to client but that is it. So I have decided to resign somewhere in Jan-March 2010. By that time I would have had 16 months or so of work ex and I think that would be enough in a lot of places. This decision is nearly 99% confirmed but there is always that chance for doubt.

I always wanted to be CEO but now when I look deeper that was just a facade for positions of leadership. A lot of money could stifle that urge but I think less money yet making a difference will not be all that bad.

In my college I wondered where I would like to work,now I wonder what I can do for the rest of my life.

I had choosen MBA over MS long time back and I still stick with it. But I wonder now how different will the work profile be after the degree. I look around and I see many managers with the same degree from the same colleges I aspire and I just have that teeny-weeny doubt.

Since childhood, I had that dream to fly across the oceans and settle in a foreign country. The dream still remains but I wonder if it is wise. Will not it be like the ultimate betrayal. Escaping to better pastors only because you have the option to do so. I have this feeling that I will never be quite at peace if I do not give something back to the community. In the easiest of words, it would simply be selfish. Maybe I lack the capitalist attitude.

So what shall I do when I finally decide to quit? There are multiple options that I have yet to choose from:-
a) Work for an NGO for some time and pursue my MBA. I am exploring the idea. It enthuses me a lot because it would give me a feel of social work. Its good to talk about giving back to society and caring for the poor in eloquent words, its quite another thing to actually walk along those words.

b) Become an entrepreneur . Again there are certain ideas cooking up right now . One idea has infact developed quite a lot but that involves me teaching physics to 12th level students. The plan is good and the cash flow could fund future ventures but I am not sure if that is what I want to be. This idea does not merge too well with my long term career plans. Of course now that I am questioning everything its a good time to ask whether even those goals are based on anything solid or as everything else they are merely wisps of smoke that the next wind shall scatter and merge with the surroundings.

c) Give the Indian civil services a solid try. This is an idea fraught with risks. However there is life little gain without risks. To even start I need to quit everything and study 12 plus hours a day for seven months plus. The civil services or IAS as it is called is the toughest exams in the country with nearly 4.5 lakh applicants in contention for less than 300 seats.
This is as I said earlier fraught with dangers. It could be nearly a year before I realize where exactly I stand but if I can clear this exam the rewards are multi-fold. There is the actual possibility of doing something good for others, the possibility of being agents of change.

d) Fourth option. Keep working at the company I am working presently and quietly head off to the MBA when the chance comes. The only issue is that the work at my company is seldom ever intellectually satisfying. So its more like doing donkey work. It makes no sense to keep working here when I cant see the IT sector as a long term career for myself.

So the future is unwritten and I am writing it now. The trick is to plan.