Loneliness

"I won't cry for my solitude, lay my head and dream of you
And hope that you'll come knocking on my door"

from"Maybe Tomorrow is a Better day" by Poets of the fall.

 

This is the song that comes to my mind, quite frequently. Its a lonely time out here at Infosys training. Everyone is so busy. There are crowds of lonely people. You just need to speak to people to feel that tinge of loneliness and desperation.

There is that tone of regret, the longing of another place. Like my room-mate, who was one of the only two to come from his college. The other person was a gal. They had a decent time in the campus initially. During training sadly people dont mix much. You come with your college mates and you stick with them. But two is company itself. In the isolation the two became great friends, roaming around the whole campus and city together. A fairy tale that should have lasted forever but one that was not to be. About seven weeks into training, the girl was diagnosed with a 9 cm tumor in the stomach. After surgery she has left for her home-town.

Now my roommate is alone. While he doesn't say it, his voice says it all as to how special the girl was for him. He seldom leaves the room after office hours. In fact he doesn't even eat in the food-courts because as he says he just doesn't have company. Yesterday when we went too food-court for dinner he confessed he had not been to an FC for quite some days. I am not sure what he is surviving on but its probabably chips etc.

And this is the tragedy, its just too lonely a world. Even though I emphathize with him, I am just too busy to try anything much. Probably some invitation to dinner nothing much. Because we all have to ourselves haul us out of the rut.

'Loneliness haunts' is the status message of another friend of mine.  We all suffer from it. But as the song says, we choose how to handle it. I am stubborn. "I won't cry for my solitude, lay my head and dream of you. And hope that you'll come knocking on my door". Thats my way.