I am convinced more than ever that what I have always suspected is true "MY MIND IS MY BIGGEST ENEMY".
Its been there since childhood. I will not think the best but the worst. And the point is it has seldom happened but still I just cant control my mind.
Some people fear that others mock them. I fear my mind. It mocks me at every moment, convinces me all is for nothing and hammers in my head that I am making a caricature of myself.
There are times when in my head there are two people , haranguing with each other. Its like Jekyl and Hide arguing with each wins. Sanity still wins but the insane part ratlles the sane part a bit more each time.
Why the strong emotions? It was all happy till about two hours back and a small sentence then set off a bomb inside me.
Suddenly one feels like snapping at everyone. The sane part knows how incorrect it is and tries to bring back the state to normal but its impossible. Thankfully I am in a hostel where I can hide in my room but if I was with company I could say unforgivable words. That's the devil inside roaring out.
But then emotions make us human. The trick must therefore lie in hiding the dangerous ones.
And if one fails then..... Prozac Zindabad
2 comments:
your mind is your biggest strength! as to thinking the worst you yourself only have the abilitiy to snap out of things and take charge. or control your emotions. and i was got worried after this post. i hope you are just kidding about prozac.
Oh thanks for the concern
Sorry did not see your comment earlier. Have not logged on much to the net recently .
Plus some problem with spam control
Anyway I am fine.
I do feel that sometimes our mnd has a mind of its own
Now dat really sounds wierd
Post a Comment