Tuesday, August 25, 2009

What was that?

I was upto my nose in work related to the new project when an aquaintance who works in the same building comes to look me and Dharam up as we have shifted to the building ,she works in.

I take a break from work to say hello and chat for 2-3 minutes.

Somparna- Chalo yaar ciao. Have fun.

Me-Oye wait for 2 more min

Somparna-Why ( puzzled)?

Me- We are just about to start a gilli danda match. Have fun after-all.

Me continuing-Its one in the day. How the hell do we have fun at work.

Somparna-Aaargh.Nooo

Stop a moment

"Take a deep breath, and let yourself imagine, just for a second, that the arc of history does, in fact, bend toward justice."

I just read this line in an article on NYTimes. Beautiful line.

Have a nice day.

Monday, August 24, 2009

The pages of a closed book ruffle again

"Phir usi bewafa pe marte hai,
Phir wohi zindagi hamaari hai"

The pages of a closed book rustle again,
Someone calls, who I had long ago forgotten,
A wind that had long ago died awakens,
My heart suddenly skips a beat.

Its her again,my heart moans,
Cruel crusher of love,
Heartless destroyer of a poet's heart,
And a brazen pretender as if nothing happened.

I spent years forgetting her,
Telling myself each day its all over,
Till I myself grew blind to the realities,
But someone returns from the past,
Destroying the calm,still the same heartbreaker as ever,
And I suddenly despair on realizing,
Love even if one-sided,never dies,
And she will haunt me forever

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Toastmasters Project 4

This is my toastmaster's project 4 speech. Having realized previously the importance of humour, I wanted a totally humorous speech, so that the audiences attention is fully captured. Also with a club level humorous speech contest coming up next week, I wanted a trial run of the speech.

It went well. The audience was literally in splits.


Dial M for

Dial M for Murder. Ooops sorry, I got carried away.. M mean something else not murder definitely. But for now I will keep u guessing.


Let’s say we Indians have a special affinity for the M word. Which M word ? That M word. The one that everyone wants to experience. Yet most of the people who experience think they were better off, without it.


Folk its M for marriage


As western culture is fixated with love, Indian culture has an obsession with marriage. Since ancient times marriage is part of our psychology. And its firmly grounded there. Marriage seems to be the start of a settled life. For parent’s it seems till the times their children are not married, their duties are still not done. So the moment the child becomes eligible for marriage he/she is prodded into thinking about marriage. Don’t smile people. I know since the day you got your married each of you have at least one mused about marriage


Now talking about marriage let me put it this way. I am an unwilling iconoclast.


I firmly believe marriage is not a small thing. Its not even a word. Marriage is a complete sentence… A life sentence….


I can see a few people smiling. We all know when a newly married guy smiles but when he smiles after 10 years of marriage is when everyone is flummoxed.


There are lines from Salman Rushdie’s novel Shame that I love “I don’t believe in arranged marriages. There are some things you should not be able to blame your poor parents for”. Tragically the day I recited these lines to my parents, they developed a deep animosity for the author. How can someone say this ? It is our duty?


Everytime I hear words like marriage and duty, I remember the idea of firing a gun held someone else’s shoulder. Mine unfortunately.


Indian parents suddenly develop this attachment to rituals and culture which can be a bit to the kids disadvantage.


My dad said the other day,”Son I left the decision of marriage to my sisters and relatives and it has been a very good journey . You should also do the same.” It was a family function. I looked around and I could see the past when I was ten years old or so. As the only male kid with nearly 10 sisters as first cousins in my age group, I grew up indeed in a disadvantaged position. Relatives would come visiting and my sister would team up with her other cousin sisters. The attack would be sudden. “Charge” is all I would hear and next moment I would be getting beaten to a pulp in a fight I had already lost. “Resistance is futile” could very have been their theme.


So as I remembered those moments, fear took hold of me again and I literally begged my parents to promise that if a time came that I was desperate enough to allow them to choose a match, the task shall not be out sourced to any sisters. If they could have beaten me to pulp as a child, imagine the havoc they could create now.


Of course my dad refuses to believe I even have a choice. "Son ,you don’t have the right to choose your own match. That is with me". With most of the western world world already weary about marriages , we could be the only nation where marriage is a joyful occasion. At family functions these days all those old-old aunts now have nothing else to chat with me about except my marriage. Even when I would insist even the idea is far away they would not stop. So I started to chat with them about funerals.


Instant silence.


All you unmarried people out here ,remember the tip. May help you.


In western civilization if you cant date or fraternize with the opposite sex, YOU WILL die alone and lonely. In India, “ Bapu to dhoond hee denge”. Parent will find a match. The parents finding a bride/groom is a great back-up option. We ,Indians can actually be single and happy. Because parents are there.


Of course arranged marriages are not all that bad. There was this white kid who was asking his father, “Dad I have heard in India, a man does not know his wife till he marries her. Is it true? ”It happens everywhere, son. Everywhere.


Of course with section 377 of Indian Penal Code being struck down suddenly society has had to comprehend a new reality which most do not acknowledge.


"What is the use of the law ?",asked a relative of mine."There are no gays in India".


Sure , I mused. Then who were all those people in the gay pride parade in the metros.


Society may still does not accept gay or lesbian couples but it will change. I have a close friend who recently came out of the closet You can imagine the havoc that happened when the only son told his parents he was gay. His parents went ballistic. But we must give parents the credit that they deserve. Their love for their child remained undiminished, but they did voice their opposition to his choice.


We were talking the other day and somehow the topic veered to marriage. He goes like, ”The problem with choosing my own bride is that my parents wont be happy if the bride does not have the same social status. ” I thought for a moment and said, ”Dude, you are gay. Your parents would be distribute sweets if you ever get a girl home”.


He looks at me and says,”Oh shucks, I forgot I have told them”


I think just to satisfy society, we could have inter-orientation marriages. Imagine an advertisement like “Committed well settled handsome gay couple look for professionally qualified lesbian couple to satisfy parents demand for marriage. Caste no bar. Please send both your horoscopes immediately at desperate-to-satisfy-parents@gmail.com. ”


Now these days at functions etc people are asking my mom,” What sort of a girl do you want?” When my mother told me this , I was like,”a) I am not getting married and b) even if I am, Why are they asking you. They should be asking me. Its not as if you will be the one marrying.


This again did not go down well with my parents. The world just does not appreciate humour.


I will just give you all one tip about successful marriages that you may not have heard anywhere.


The secret to a successful marriage after so much of research still remains a secret.!!!

Monday, August 17, 2009

Toastmasters Project 3 speech text

This is the text of my project 3 speech. You can all see the video in my earlier speech. The basis of this speech is an old college magazine article that I wrote.

However it was totally redone for the speech. /* xyz*/ denote speech instruction



One turn too fast

One error of judgment, one stroke of misfortune, a momentarily loss of control, one turn too fast. And it’s all over!/*Pause 3 sec*/

Mr. Toastmaster, fellow toastmasters and welcome guests,

Yes it just takes one moment on the road to change everything. Just one turn too fast and it could just as well be the last.

80,000 people die in road accidents in India each year. What does it mean?

……Someone has just now lost a life in a road accident, and before I finish my speech, there would be another death on the road.

Still the horror never hits us. The day we hear about an acquaintance or a close friend being killed or injured in a road accident I am sure most of us slow down a bit. I know because I vividly remember the day in 12th class when a classmate was crushed by a bus while on his scooter. I never knew the guy even remotely but I can assure you that day I just pushed my scooter a little less hard and so did the rest of us.

You could wonder why the moral lecture? What has another death forgotten in the sands of time got to do with you? I say, everything! Because YOU would probably be driving, today or tomorrow. And when you get behind the wheel you ought to know the mortal danger you are in.

‘I rode at 100 km/hr’ /*Pull your collar up while doing it*/said my friend. That’s 28 m/sec! Measure it and try to imagine covering the distance in a second on foot. It’s impossible. And yet we seldom think twice before using the accelerator while driving.

Maybe some of that callousness would disappear if you were to see the results of rash driving first-hand. Because no description can fully describe the horror of being there. The sound of metal twisting, the wails of the wounded , the moans of the barely conscious, the horror of the onlookers and pain that is unimaginable. Of course there are people who can boast about walking away unhurt from the wreckage of vehicles. But they were just lucky. Death was just enjoying being irrational.

Let’s imagine an accident. Someone is driving, and suddenly he collides with another vehicle at high speeds. Maybe it was not his fault. Maybe the other driver was rash and drunk. But maybe he could have gone a little slower.

And now suppose that person is you. /*Very slow */

After that one moment you wake up to find your leg bent at an impossible angle. But you are too confused to realize it’s broken. Maybe your lungs are filling up with blood because of broken ribs. You are literally drowning in your own blood and there is nothing you can do. I wonder if anyone would like a similar scenario,' to wake up from an accident only to realize you are dying'. There are injuries for which doctors can do nothing more than just move on to the next patient who could probably be saved. Also in India, where you would probably be bundled by bystanders in a rickshaw and sent to a hospital which will probably refuse to accept you for the fear of a police case.

Or you could be like my friend who was hit by a truck in the wee hours on a national highway. No one stopped to help and she lay there in a ditch, for over two hours, dying just 200 meters from the comfort of her home on a chilly morning. It turned out to be a beautiful December day. It was just not so bright for her.

Of course initially, because of shock you will not feel any pain. You can stare at your mangled hands with indifference. But then if you can just survive for some time, then the shock will wear out and you will start feeling pain that you never knew was possible. God forbid, if you had been driving recklessly before the accident then at that moment you are lying there hating yourself. You would probably do anything to go back and set it right. But this is life my friend! What’s done can never be undone.

And if you are counting on surviving the accident, don’t forget it could involve anything -from long lonely months of recuperation in a hospital, the guilt of having caused the death of innocents or even leading a crippled life.

Friends, drive safe. There are only two self -evident truths which I know of and they are that mixing drinking with driving kills and helmets save lives. Only a fool can deny these. So drive knowing the risks. Because the problem is not driving but bad driving.

There is a simple reason why I spoke about accidents the way I did. Why I talked about death as if it was just around the corner. Because if you can imagine the pain after a crash or even better see yourself lying unattended on a stretcher still,/*2 sec pause slow*/ very still; ,/*3 sec pause even slower*/ then maybe you will just be a little easy on the accelerator next time.

Over to you Mr. Toastmaster

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Sweet revenge, Toastmasters project 3



So two weeks back, I had lost to another guy in the toastmasters club in the prepared speech section.

My revenge came on Wednesday when I defeated him with my latest speech.

I wanted some more detailed feedback on myself ,so I used my cellphone to record the speech.

The sound is muffled , the video is poor but I think its better think its bett er than nothing.

I come in after about 30 seconds in the video. The speech lasts 5 minutes.

Anyway from the video I realized my pauses are very poor. Also my voice is still not reflecting emotions well. I think the body language and gestures were decent.

the speech is titled 'One turn too fast'

Saturday, August 8, 2009

CAT Update

"Muzamahil ho gaye quvaa 'Ghalib',
Woh anaasir mein aitadaal kahaan"

muzamahil=lethargic, quvaa=powers, anaasiir=elements, aitadaal=moderation

Ghaalib,your powers have become lethargic,
There is no moderation in the elements.

The above is one of my favourite ghaalib sher's. It expresses so eloquently the frustration of a person who is realizing that the powers that he was proud of are vanishing.

I would wonder about my powers as a poet and a writer wondering at times if my best phas was over.

Now recently I have a new angst. I am being openly devastated in the mock-CAts. The last two papers have been the worst. And I managed a score that I had never ever got. Meaning even less than my zero attempt CAT(initial no prep).

So I am wondering now if my powers have eclipsed. Its funny how two bad performances can so thoroughly shake up the confidence.

Anyway this is my hall of shame, my repository of mock cat scores

While I do feel frustrated, I shall still try and hold onto hope. Because I have made a stand here. And I will clear the CAT and join the college I desire to, not what I manage to get. ABCL, I am still coming.

Adios

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Be the change you want to be in the world

I have been wondering these last couple of days, what is my contribution to the community and society at large? The answer I have realized is nil and it pricks me.

Be the change you want to see in the world. Thats what resounds in my mind. There are things around that rankle me. Problems with the nation and the community. Its a good idea to lay out the solution and say its easy. The tough part is implementing the idea. Walk the talk they say.

And I know, my conscience will not let me sleep. I will hedge my risks but when the time is right I will put them into action. Of course my parents and relatives take me for a loony. "You have been so brilliant and now you will waste it all for social service. It doesn't pay". This was the response I got from home. But I am stupidly stubborn.
"Sab ke baatein sun leta hoon main chup chaap magar ,
Apne dil ki karte jaana meri aadat hai."

So my aspirations always cloudy become a little more clear. I want to walk a lot of paths. I know one that I will definitely walk.